(no subject)

[katyism.livejournal.com]

There's a Dell tech in the office doing something to one of our desktop machines (I'm not sure why we couldn't fix it ourselves, but whatever). My co-workers are standing around him talking about water-cooled computer cases and how there was one guy whose case was leaking all over his motherboard and shit. The Dell tech looks up and asks, "Y'all talkin' 'bout a computer?"

Comments

[inahandbasket]

In my experience (we're all dell hardware here) they're usually awesome at fixing dell computer hardware, and generally clueless beyond that.

[pokemyeye.livejournal.com]

hah

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I'd think the word "motherboard" would clue this guy in if he really is a hardware tech. Maybe dell has some special word for motherboard...

[natertots.livejournal.com]

oh man, yeah.

I had to do online tests to get dell certified for warranty repairs (we're almost all dell here, so it's a lot faster than waiting for a tech.)

The test questions are so pathetic it's scary.

*snerk*

[samwize.livejournal.com]

"A year ago, I couldn't SPELL 'enginear'! Now I are one! Hooray!"

[jarad.livejournal.com]

Yeah. They did that for us too a lot, until the day the tech couldn't figure out how to plug in a SCSI cable in a rackmount server. Nowadays, they just ask us on the phone if we want to fit it ourselves.

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

dellboard?

[kuang.livejournal.com]

'glass jaw'

;)

[koryweb.livejournal.com]

I think they actually use the term 'mainboard'.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

If the guy had used Fluorinert, he wouldn't have had that problem.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

They probably aren't allowed to use the terms "master" and "slave" either.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

Dell's tech support is very frustrating, especially when you're acting as a consultant and fixing someone else's Dell.

I correctly diagnosed a machine as having a dead power supply, and tried to call up Dell and just get an RMA number since the machine was under extended warranty. I got bounced over to tech support in Bangalore or wherever it is, and the tech refused to believe me when I said I was a consultant and had already determined the problem.

I had to spend an hour (I timed it, since I had told the client I would bill for time spent with Dell tech support) on the phone removing and reseating every card, cable, and DIMM, each time saying "No, same result, the computer won't power on and none of the four diagnostic LEDS are lighting up," before the tech finally admitted that yes, the power supply had croaked and she would be shipping a replacement.

Now, tell me, does Dell do cost-benefits on tech support calls? Because it seems to me that it would cost them less to simply go "Okay, we'll get that replacement power supply out to you asap," than it would for them to tie up their toll-free international tech support line for an hour...

[koryweb.livejournal.com]

If memory serves me correctly, they actually use 'cable select' for just about everything.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

Come to think of it, that's right. On at least one Dell box, I've run into problems using anything other than cable select.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

It's probably an IP tunnel from a US switching center to the Indian "we aggrivate for pennies" shop. I doubt that hour long phone call cost them more than a few dollars.

We're mostly Dell here to. I'm so glad we don't have to deal with the consumer level tech support. "No - I'm not going to reinstall Windows from your CDs. We're re-imaged it once already and it still fails. Send us the bloody ____ already, K?"

[flainn.livejournal.com]

Hmm, you have a point.

I don't hesitate to recommend Dell to my customers, because 95% of the time Dell's machines are highly reliable. It's that 5% of the time (and customers being unwilling to deal with Dell's tech support directly) that really get me.

[koryweb.livejournal.com]

Actually, Dell is doing a cost-benefit on it. First, they have their "Premier Access" program, where you have pay them for a special level of tech access and the ability to dispatch parts yourself.

Second, after years of working in a callcenter, I have had plenty of people try to say they were consultants and knew what the problem was but then when you actually put them through the paces they couldn't even find a power switch or diag light.

That isn't to say that most consultants aren't on the up and up and don't know their stuff. It just says that idiots ruin it for the rest of us.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wish there were a secret consultant handshake, or something, that would instantly indicate that one knows what he is talking about and doesnt need to be "put through the paces."

[susano-otter.livejournal.com]

Heh. You have to look at it from the Dell tech's point of view. To them there's only one person on the call who has anything close to confirmed computer troubleshooting experience.

When was the last time you trusted some random asshat over the phone, to know more about a computer problem than you did? They have to go through their entire troubleshooting checklist, because there's no way for you to validate to them your claim of expertise.

This is why I never bother to troubleshoot vendor gear under warranty anymore. The vendor support tech is just going to make me run through their checklist anyway.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

I considered that approach. But although it's annoying to have to spend an hour on the phone, going through the motions, it's easy money since I could do it in my sleep anyway.

I guess if my clients feel like paying twice for warranty service they should only have to pay for once, then who am I to complain?

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

Please do. :) Damn Alliance.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"Hi - Bob, is it? Yeah, we met at the Secret Tech's Ball last year. Gimmee a power supply, wouldya?"

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

As an internal tech for a large call center that uses exclusively Dells... yeah. I get to call them too. It's fun! And they try sooooooo hard to send out a tech. This is amusing because when I tell them my troubleshooting has been "I took out the thing that wasn't working, swapped it with a spare that was working, and now the computer is operational" their response is "well, that sounds like it was indeed the powersupply/harddrive/RAM/whatever! When do you want a tech to come replace that?"

Right.

[flainn.livejournal.com]

That's a cool cat, by the way. Maybe I should try that with my cats.

Seconded

[ace-brickman.livejournal.com]

and I would fully agree with you... I worked at a student lab where there were about 60 workhorse machines that, after a significant number of (computer)years of student abuse, were booting up and starting applications quicker than an undergrad's ADDattention span could even think to complain.
Another section of the lab got teh shiny a year & a half ago that has a bad batch of power supplies. Now these power supplies are soldered on to the motherboard, mind you..
We started a countdown of these failing. When I left the internship, we were at 11 of 30 new motherboards.

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

Dell's tech support is very frustrating, especially when you're acting as a consultant and fixing someone else's Dell.

Since they've gotten serious about support chat, it's much easier to get parts, provided you have

1) a Dell.com login
2) the system's service code on your list of systems
3) you have the current AND original owner's contact info
4) you have a DCSE number and the most current year Fundamentals cert

login, pull up the system under repair, "contact us", choose hardware chat, and include your DCSE# and summary like "DCSE123456 no post cond, all parts except mobo and p/s run on other systems" in the "Question" line, then copy-and-paste #3 into the window when a tech answers. After a couple of minutes comparing info, they will get down to the nitty gritty, quiz you on some of your isolation procedures, then ask if you want a tech or not. I've done this with three for three systems in the past week, though they did have Gold support. Took (checks e-mail) 12, 20, and 14 minutes from "hello" to case and dispatch # by the chat logs, though I was free to (and did) do other things including make phone calls during this time.

Of course, for some people, not being on the phone leaves them vulnerable to further tasking....

[azurelunatic]

I did chat with them the other day. About 20/30 minutes, multitasking (read: "loafing"), much better than the 2 hour phone calls that wind up in tears and a misdiagnosis.

[azurelunatic]

Or sending the part to the wrong address when two separate techs have confirmed the current address?

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

I did chat with them the other day. About 20/30 minutes, multitasking (read: "loafing"), much better than the 2 hour phone calls that wind up in tears and a misdiagnosis

Now all we have to do is perfect a universal field chat solution, or convince everyone to keep a spare PC handy. :)

[azurelunatic]

I brought the machine into work on my day off, borrowed a work machine, and wound up working anyway, because of persistent telnet issues that were eventually found to be caused by a switch that took up smoking.

[jarad.livejournal.com]

You remind me of the "IT Consultant" who did not realise that a DSL router could be reconfigured. He seemed to think they were some sort of one-shot configure-them-once-and-it's-permanent deal.