Firing a user

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

OK, I was outta town for a few days, but it appears that several of ya wanna live vicariously though me and hear the story of Firing a User.

I used to do support for a large online university (fully accredited, it was the online campus of a real school) - started in student support, went to faculty support and ended with being a team lead/escalation point and Exchange admin (this is a big deal, the classes were built as public folders on an Exchange cluster and shared out as newsgroups. I had to make sure that happened right.)

Students, faculty and staff all have provisions in their contracts that says they'll be respectful and polite with staff.

So one day I get a call from a faculty member who'd called in earlier that day and broke her Outlook Express again - she'd changed a setting after she got off the phone with the previous tech and lo and behold, she was disconnecting from the Internet. That's what happens when you CHECK the 'Disconnect after sending and receiving" box.

Her previous problem was with an address book, the other tech didn't even go INTO that area. EU is CONVINCED the tech did it. Calls her every name in the book. Call started off angry (Yeah, you jacka$$es broke my computer again, Why the f*ck can't you ever fix anything?) and went from there. I politely reminded her that she needed to be civil or I couldn't fix her problem. That worsened it.

Fortunately, I was recording the call. See, $University's VoIP phone system had a 'record to voicemail' feature that we could enable, and I was logging all of this one.

I was able to get her to shut up long enough to figure out her problem and fix it, then she started off again, I again reminded her she was supposed to play nice, as I was playing nice, and got an earful. I let her know that her conduct WAS a terminatable offense, she continued to question my parent's marital status, my sexuality and my relationship with beasts of burden.

Finally, I was able to get in a word edgewise, told her that I'd revoked all her access, that I was locating a replacement for the three classes she was teaching and that her last paycheck would be sent post-haste. I wished her well and offered to fax her a copy of my official complaint, she declined and terminated the call

I exported the recording to my desktop, repackaged as an MP3, filled out my forms, sent them to the faculty managers, and her contract was terminated before I left for lunch.

My Burger King double cheeseburger, extra mustard extra pickles tasted especially fine that day.

Comments

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

You are my hero and I wish I was you.

[inahandbasket]

*raises tha roof*

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Let me tell you, it was quite the heady experience. Wish some of the other places I've worked would let me do that.

/everyone wishes they were me, at some time or another....

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

... marry me. Or at least, live in healthy sin.

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

you know... i have some webspace that would be a good home for that mp3... i own helpdeskhell.com (that currently doesn't have a home cause i'm moving stuff around)

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

I'll see if anyone still has it. It's been almsot six years, and I never had a personal copy

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

I wish I could have done that just once... just ONCE!

[jjjiii]

Boo-ya!!

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

You are my hero. Seriously.

[jecook]

+500 golden coins, a One-Up, and whatever else I can find in the Bag of Admin Goodness.

Oh, and a _case_ of tasty beverage. This ones a winner!

::adds to memories::

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

did you ever know that you're my hero?


seriously, that was too awesome.



I have a slightly similar story where this lady didn't want to pay her bill, was constantly abusive to myself and my reps. So I got the fun task of calling her, asking for payment, and since she couldn't pay, I closed her account. The call was being recorded and listened to by my boss and his boss, who were giving me thumbs up whenever she said she was going to call them and have me fired. I have the call on mp3 and I'll play it from time to time for the new guys here.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

We're not worthy!

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Dude. Every workplace needs to learn from the example of this university. Just knowing that somebody has ever had this fortune brings a smile to my face. :)

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

You should post it somewhere

[azurelunatic]

Sweet.

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

Bravo! *standing ovation*

[sid-dslaci.livejournal.com]

Ping me at chris (at) gee (dot) cx. I have a couple of real winners for you.

[(Anonymous)]

"I was locating a replacement for the three classes she was teaching and that her last paycheck would be sent post-haste. "

What sort of college do you work at where tech support schedules classes and also arranges pay checks ?

[patgund.livejournal.com]

Oh, how I wish I could do that to certain faculty and students I know....

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

*joins in standing ovation*

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiosity, what did she teach?

[absurdwords.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[network-nerd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I gotta get me one of those!

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Tech Support didn't schedule classes - I built them and made sure they were accessable. (Exchange Admin/Faculty Support)

I also had access to the faculty list that told me who would be available to take them - we occassionally had to get an instructor on the fly, so it's not that big of a deal. A quick check of the list to find likely replacements (and Plan B was always the Faculty Advisors), then a followup email/call to see if the instructor wanted it.

As for the paycheck - policy was 72 hours from termination until your last check arrived. They usually cut the check the same day an employee was terminated.

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

Mostly English, some Humanities stuff, too

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

definately will do!