And to finish my week...

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I never thought I would have all these stories to tell at the end of a week, but I guess I was wrong.

My final call of the night was a 95 year old man. 

Now he could not hear me, and he had to use a magnifying glass to see things on the screen.  I had to repeat myself a couple of times.

After doing some initial stuff, come to find out that we had more than just internet problems. 

I'm cleaning this up for our virgin eyes:

Customer: Well, ever since yesterday, I haven't been able to get to isp.net. My homepage changes to spacezoomer.com. I never asked for that. 

Me: Ok, so were getting our homepage redirected. We may have something on there that may of accidentally been downloaded either by someone, or by a website that is less reputable.

Customer: Hmm, well I'm the only person that surfs this pc. You know, I was trying to surf girlsgonewild.com because I love those college girls I always see on the tv, and it keeps me happy. Ever since the screen turned green when I was on their server, i've been getting porno popups. Not that those are bad or anything, but their not the hottest chicks in the world. By some strange reason my homepage has been changing to AOL.com. Can I sue AOL?*laughs*

Oh, there's another popup. I mean you should see this chicks ***** and ******, their nasty.

Me: Sir, this is not something I need to know. 

Customer: Well, I figure your a young man, you would enjoy these type of popups. 

Me: If we can get back at the issue at hand....

Customer: I think I broke this machine. 

Me: You didn't break it, you just infected it with something bad. Now I'd probably put the blame on the girlsgonewild.com site did it for you, but I'm just making an assumption. 

Customer: I bet it was AOL.

Me: Hard to say, but let me see if I can change your homepage back to isp.net for now, and we'll talk about the spyware later. 

Customer: Yeah, I love *******, ******, and ********, but I don't want to have ******* ****** ******* all over the system. My grandkids surf on this.

Me: Yeah, they won't want to see that type of stuff.

Customer: Damn straight.


You know, I never thought that I would have such a strange week, but it's hard to top that exciting week of crazy idiots calling into my world. I can't wait for next week where I'll have 6 days off. But for now I'll have 2. Time to sit back, and relax for 2 days. 

FREEDOM!

Comments

[fearrett.livejournal.com]

*cough*
downloadfirefox
*coughsagain*

[billysapphire.livejournal.com]

I know it's not funny but it is.
I have to admit I have never had a customer admit to me that they actually visited those sites. Neither have I had them tell me about what they liked to see on someone else's body.
I guess he figured since he was talking to another male, he would be talking to someone that would "understand" him and wouldn't make fun of him. (Of course, we all know when the call is disconnected....)

As for other call center issues. I am still fighting for the "freebee" day where all of us call agents can tell the idiots, I mean customers, whatever the heck we want and cannot be held accountable for it. What is one day a month? It would surely restore morale in many centers.
As an example, my response to the above gentlemen would be, "Sir, I am a gay male, I am not interested in *******, ******, or ********. Now if we were talking ***** and *****, then I might be able to agree, now what was that problem again...."

[kallell.livejournal.com]

i see this being me in my own future

[brownizs.livejournal.com]

And how is that going to stop the idiots from opening infected emails? The problem is not with the browser, but the mindless lump between the keyboard and chair.

[spacebird.livejournal.com]

I had a caller holler "Hooray! The porn is back!" when I got him surfing again. I had to laugh and he offered to send me a case of beer.

Too bad we can't accept offers like that.

[jecook]

Yeah, this is clearly a PEBKAC issue.

Although one has to wonder if anyone ever mentioned to the old guy that OSX and XP have features for the vision impared.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

I actually did bring a case of beer back to the brake & alignment guys one Friday afternoon/evening...

You should have seen the smiles. :-O

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

then he'd be getting some HUGE T&A ... or at least extreme closeups.

Hey, he might LIKE that.