(no subject)

[kuang.livejournal.com]

'I was just wondering, is there something wrong with the server?'

Ahh, that age old battlecry of the technically challenged who need to impress the even-less technically clued up managers hovering within earshot. This particular one came from $Luser who is renowned for being a muppet of the highest order when it comes to anything that requires some degree of clue. You can actually witness your words fly over her head like pretty bluebirds when the sentence contains such challenging terms as 'printer' or 'keyboard'. You wouldn't trust her with anything more technical than a pencil, and even then you wouldn't sharpen it.

Me - We have around 40 of them - which one in particular were you concerned about?..
$Luser - Well we're having lots of problems up here and we thought the server might be broken


I swear that these people think the IT room resembles Stonehenge on Midsummer's eve - all the techy druids draped in ribbon cables, dancing around the glowing monolith known simply as Ye Server, dedicating chants to the deity Tor-Valds and sacrificing USB memory sticks to the Gods of Static..


Me - Such as?
$Luser - Well I can't get my email and $Otheruser can't print.
Me - *taptap* You can't get your mail because you're still using the wrong password, even after I told you yesterday and $Otheruser rang me a few minutes ago and can now print perfectly. Anything else?
$Luser - So the server is ok then?
Me - Yes. The server is fine. Goodbye.

*thud*


***EDIT***

I hadn't read the previous post before writing this one. There's some some of synchronicity at work there.. either that, or all Lusers really ARE as bad as each other :)

Comments

[jecook]

I swear that these people think the IT room resembles Stonehenge on Midsummer's eve - all the techy druids draped in ribbon cables, dancing around the glowing monolith known simply as Ye Server, dedicating chants to the deity Tor-Valds and sacrificing USB memory sticks to the Gods of Static..

*ROFLMAO*

THis is getting pasted in the next server room I enter. THis was too classic.

[usekh.livejournal.com]

I swear that these people think the IT room resembles Stonehenge on Midsummer's eve - all the techy druids draped in ribbon cables, dancing around the glowing monolith known simply as Ye Server, dedicating chants to the deity Tor-Valds and sacrificing USB memory sticks to the Gods of Static..

You mean we aren't supposed to do that? next thing you will tell me that anointing new machines with goats blood is bad.

[jon787.livejournal.com]

Depends, is it a virgin female goat or not?

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to find or assemble a slick-looking black plastic slab or cube, about the size of a toaster, and emboss the words "The Server" (with that capitalisation) in a white, official-looking font on one side. Then rig up a single button, such that when it is pressed, the words "THE SERVER IS WORKING PERFECTLY" light up on one side, and remain lit for sixty seconds.

Anyone asking me that question will be invited to ask The Server themselves.

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

depends on whether it is SCSI or SATA RAID.

SCSI merely requires the sacrifice of a goat. SATA requires multiple virgin goats of the correct colour.

[jon787.livejournal.com]

But SCSI does require the goat to be terminated in a kosher manner.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

I like it - there's a certain integrity to that idea, along with a mildy perverse sense of humour. You should go for it, and then send me the plans ;)

[kuang.livejournal.com]

Roll up around the back for starter kits :)

[kuang.livejournal.com]

Last time I tried that I used three, but some bugger kept replacing the slaughtered one before I had a chance to do the others...

[kuang.livejournal.com]

I'll send you a picture of the proceedings the next time we need to lure a new NAS box into the fold.. ;)

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

Of course.

SCSI must always be properly terminated...

Ba-dum-dum-TISHHH!!! Thank you, I'll be here all week!

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

Lots of kebab or curry houses nearby?

;)