Non sequitur
Jan. 29th, 2006 05:10 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
kizayaen.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryMe: "Thank you for calling the <client> helpdesk at <company>, my name is <Kizayaen>, can I have your customer number? ... Jeff? Okay, what can I do for you?"
Client: "Hi, yeah, it's still missing."
*frantic clicking through 'Other Cases Reported by User', looking for open support tickets*
Me: "Your... uh... what is it that's still missing?"
Client: "My file bar."
*digs up three week old case for missing icons from a toolbar in a particular program*
Me: "Your file bar?" *frantically scans some of the most amazingly poorly written case notes I've ever seen* "You mean you're.. uh... still missing the.. menu bar, was it? ...from your Business Objects?"
Client: "Yeah."
Thank god for my psychic powers of Case History. I'd never be able to do my job without 'em. I never knew when I took this job that so much magic would be involved. I'm asked to use it on a daily basis. You know, like when somebody calls me up to ask if they have a specific lot number in their inventory. Excuse me? I haven't checked through your closet lately, why don't you tell me what lot numbers you have? You're the one that has them. Or better yet...
Me: "How can I help you?"
Client: "Yeah, I can't get my PDA to connect to my laptop."
*20 minutes of troubleshooting*
Me: "Okay. Are you connected using the grey USB cable, or the black serial cable?"
Client: "The grey one."
Me: "Do you have a black serial cable?"
Client: "Yeah, that's about the only way I can connect anymore."
Me: "Oh, I see. You wanted me to use my magic to fix your bad USB cable. My mistake; I would have known this already but my psychic powers are out today. Next time, just in case they're still out, would you mind just telling me at the beginning, 'I'm trying to connect my laptop to my PDA with a cable I know is broken; can you help me?'"
Client: "Hi, yeah, it's still missing."
*frantic clicking through 'Other Cases Reported by User', looking for open support tickets*
Me: "Your... uh... what is it that's still missing?"
Client: "My file bar."
*digs up three week old case for missing icons from a toolbar in a particular program*
Me: "Your file bar?" *frantically scans some of the most amazingly poorly written case notes I've ever seen* "You mean you're.. uh... still missing the.. menu bar, was it? ...from your Business Objects?"
Client: "Yeah."
Thank god for my psychic powers of Case History. I'd never be able to do my job without 'em. I never knew when I took this job that so much magic would be involved. I'm asked to use it on a daily basis. You know, like when somebody calls me up to ask if they have a specific lot number in their inventory. Excuse me? I haven't checked through your closet lately, why don't you tell me what lot numbers you have? You're the one that has them. Or better yet...
Me: "How can I help you?"
Client: "Yeah, I can't get my PDA to connect to my laptop."
*20 minutes of troubleshooting*
Me: "Okay. Are you connected using the grey USB cable, or the black serial cable?"
Client: "The grey one."
Me: "Do you have a black serial cable?"
Client: "Yeah, that's about the only way I can connect anymore."
Me: "Oh, I see. You wanted me to use my magic to fix your bad USB cable. My mistake; I would have known this already but my psychic powers are out today. Next time, just in case they're still out, would you mind just telling me at the beginning, 'I'm trying to connect my laptop to my PDA with a cable I know is broken; can you help me?'"
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-29 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 03:52 am (UTC)Client: "I can't connect to the VPN."
Me: *shakeshakeshake* "It's an unlikely coincidence."
Client: "My laptop won't open Word."
Me: *shakeshakeshake* "It'll be fixed in the next release."
Client: "I just got an error message in the Afaria client."
Me: *shakeshakeshake* "Program works - must be user error."
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:40 pm (UTC)some of my co-workers just write "vpn foo" in the case notes. now...that doesn't really help me, does it?
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 06:17 pm (UTC)This person is NOT from an Indian help desk. Usually their case notes are just fine. I dunno if she woke up stupid this day or what.