A Letter

[ohhjuliet.livejournal.com]

Dear Excessively Needy Computer User:

You call me with that whiny tone in your voice. God how that annoys me. I see your name on the caller ID, and I just stare at the phone apathetically, hoping that you might just hang up. Of course you don't, it's certainly not in your nature to figure something out for yourself.

I answer the phone and whining/complaining starts. I stare at the ceiling. I contemplate a career change. I wonder how many times I can spin my rolling chair around before the seat falls off.

I begin to address your question, already knowing the answer, and relieved that I can just fix it and forget it. Kind of like those meals they advertise, easy and without much effort at all. You won't stand for that though. In your droning monotone you must contradict me, question me.

I'm repeating myself, while I've taken control of your computer, showing you how to fix the issue. Showing you that it's there, it's just off the screen, and you must scroll to see it. I offer explanations, reasons. I change the window size, so that you won't have to scroll anymore.

I hang up to your surprised sounding thank you. Really, I just want to go home. Now.

Love,
Your Technology Specialist.