Ho ho. Very funny. Ha ha. It is to laugh...

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

Dear Knobjockey Prometheus II,

I built you from scratch. I gave you tender loving care when you were relegated to the stuffy cardboard prisons in which you were incarcerated as newborns. I'm still paying you off, and will be for a long time. I took you, piece by piece, broke you out of gaol, cleaned and assembled you, making sure to Read The Fucking Manual even though i've been building your like for many years, triple checked all your sockets and connections, installed a brand new brain into you and gave you the life you dreamed of.

I set you up with the care and attention of an interior decorator with serious gender identity issues, matching your desktop shades and shapes and tweaking your UI until it was beautiful to behold. I sheathed your cables in blue UV and the ends in red, so that you may be striking and appealing to the eye.

I regularly kept your BIOSes updated and checked, secured you from the tribulations of an eWorld that doesn't eCare and spent time with you day and night caressing your buttons and switches like they were my own, basking in your cathode glare until I developed a lovely geektan™ and eyes that oscillated at the same frequency as your VSync.

When you got sick, rare as it was, beautiful Prometheus, I cared for you and spent hours tending to you until you were better. For 6 months, we were an inseparable item...

And this is how you repay me?

One spike of dirty power and you die completely. no warning, no apologies, nothing. you just walk out that door. your lack of consideration for my feelings leaves me cold and disappointed that our relationship meant that little to you. And when i finally find what I believe to be the problem - because *I* DIDN'T ABANDON YOU! even after you left me, i stayed by your darkened husk and searched and prodded and built and rebuilt til I found something wrong - For you to take the brand new part I voided a warranty for and spit it back at me in a fit of rigor-mortis inspired pique just takes the cake.

Well fuck you AND your crappy fuse. I'm taking your heart out and you can wait until I can afford a new one. powerspike that you ungrateful bitch.

Insincerely,

Me.

(x-posted to dear_knobjockey and twitchfetish

Comments

[dog-star-man.livejournal.com]

That's beautiful man.

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

That is truly a work of art. ;) And it fits so very well...

[kostika.livejournal.com]

Oh I feel your pain and your love and your hurt. Such beautiful words.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

And not so much as a good-bye log. That's harsh. I feel your pain.

Nicely done.

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

It's because you're too nice. It started feeling special, and when they feel special, they get uppity. I treat my computer horribly, leaving it in dusty environments, bashing it often, never defragging, and swearing at it regularly. As a result, it never gives me any problems until the hardware dies from overuse.

... good god, never, ever let me near a real person.

[samwize.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of the (freely downloadable) song "Breakin' Up With CPU" (http://download5.ampcast.com/AUD-66325-dld-7017025-0-0-0-DLDLGXNSAGXZTOO/Breaking_up_with_CPU.mp3) by Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie (http://www.deadtroll.com).

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

You didn't mention it but I'll just ask anyway ... Did you have a UPS or some kind of power conditioner attached? It's darned near a requirement here where I work so I opted to get a UPS for home use too.

[akage.livejournal.com]

That's why I leave Surtur II (my main rig) sitting on a dusty carpet with the case half-open. That way I won't be surprised/shocked when it dies (that, and it has major heat issues). I will be pissed, but that's unavoidable.

[jecook]

::claps::

When Universe dies I plan on writing something along the same lines, simply because the damn thing is nearly 5, and I think my Palm Tungsten E has more processing horsepower then it. And still it soldiers along. I'm terribly afraid of an extended power outage at this stage, as the hard drives may not come back afterwards.

[kallell.livejournal.com]

also there is a community called Note_to_machine

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

unfortunately I ran out of money before i could get a decent SPS, then i lost my job. I had a basic conditioner/fused power unit there, but it didn't trip...

piece of crap.

IV

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. First thing I invested in was a proper UPS because the electricity here is substandard in quality.

[major-error.livejournal.com]

I think its pretty much the case with any municipal power grid...

When I first got a system that I could monitor the various voltages, I discovered the reason why all my previous systems would act flaky for no good reason.
Undervoltage can be just as damaging....

Now that I have a UPS on my stuff, once I get over the initial surprise of it kicking in, it's quite reassuring :) Getting one that can suppress overvoltages and correct undervoltages is practically a requirement these days.