[identity profile] daerlyn.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] techrecovery
I'm sick and tired of the back-and-forth between tech-support/customer service reps and the people who call them. After watching the debate from both sides, and experiencing it from both sides, I have discovered the truth of the matter:

We're all morons.

What follows is a list of things to know if you're calling tech-support/customer service. And then a list of things to know if you're providing said service.

For customers:

1. Please know at least one of the following, though all three is preferable:

Your account number (and yes, this is a number, surprisingly enough, with few exceptions).
Your username/email address, if applicable.
The name your account is under. This should be your name, but a lot of people seem to have a problem with this concept.

2. Please do not start the call with "I just called and it's still not working/ I did everything you told me and it didn't work" or a bad pun on the company name. The person you reach on the second try is probably not the same person you talked to before unless you're extremely lucky, and even if it is, they probably talked to several people before and after your first call. They'll need a little more information to figure out exactly who you are and what the problem is/was.

3. Please don't rant at the poor CSR/Tech. They aren't being deliberately obtuse (OTOH, see below), and though they'll try to fix your problem, being rude isn't going to make them want to give their all.

4. If you are calling tech support, do not, in your snarkiest tone, tell them that they don't know what they're doing, or disregard everything they ask you to do. If you know better, go fix the problem yourself.

5. Ignorance is okay. We accept the fact that the reason you are calling us is because you don't know how to set up the system or repair the problem. But please, for the love of Og, try to remember what we tell you for future reference. And in this case, I don't mean server names or configurations; I mean terms like 'right-click' and 'reboot'.

6. Don't get mad because we made the mistake of assuming you weren't a complete idiot. Foolish of us, we know, but hope springs eternal.


For techs/customer service

1. Keep in mind that, to the average user, your level of knowledge borders on the supernatural. Be patient. Be pleasant. Please don't sigh loudly (or at least use your mute button).

2. Don't bump calls. There is nothing more irritating than hearing the phone ring, getting your hopes up, then hearing the damn hold Muzak again.

3. If you tell me you're going to have someone look at it, then do so. I can't recall the number of times I've gotten calls from clients with simple issues that aren't fixed yet because the last person they spoke to was a lazy piece of shit.

4. If you can't fix it, tell me. Don't fool around with my system until it's broken, then refer me to a tech. Thanks. Now my computer store guy will have even more work to do.

5. Don't treat me like an idiot, and I'll do my level best not to act like one.

6. If you don't like your job anymore, to the point where you find it impossible to be even close to polite, or are giving into the temptation to play with accounts and server settings, QUIT. Do not take it out on your clients.

Feel free to add on to this. These are just the things that bug me most.

Date: 2003-06-25 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] infusco.livejournal.com
For techs/customer service:

- whenever the problem needs to be fixed by another department, don't give a customer a time it will be fixed. Its never fixed that fast

Date: 2003-06-25 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampyre-child.livejournal.com
I know alot of Techs who bitch about customers but one thing along of Techs need to realizes is. 1. Your not the pimp Shit know it all. 2. Clients may not have the same backround you do. If A Dr Calls in because his computer wont boot because the power in the back came loose you cant really call that person an Idiot can you.

Date: 2003-06-25 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngtmagicks.livejournal.com
If said Dr makes it a big deal that they are a doctor of medicine, dentistry or what have you and it turns out to be something that they did but are blaming the isp/tech/whatever for, then yes, said doctor will be concidered as he is found to be. An idiot of computers.

Date: 2003-06-25 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampyre-child.livejournal.com
Yes if Said DR rubs it in Said Dr is just a Moron in my book. If Said MCSE rubs it in then he is just an ass.

Thanks for NOTHING

Date: 2003-06-25 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liquidmercurial.livejournal.com
For Customers:

Do not say "Thanks for nothing!" or something along those lines when the tech/csr spends well over 30 minutes with you trying different things, discovers it's a 3rd party issue and then tells you exactly what the issue is and what steps to take to get it fixed.

Date: 2003-06-25 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miharu.livejournal.com
For customers:

Take the time to realize that the person on the other end of the phone with you is a real human being with (mostly) real feelings.

For techies:

ditto.

Date: 2003-06-25 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haloseven.livejournal.com
For (those rare male pig) customers:

Please do not assume that since I am female and I am the technician you happened to get, I want to

a) go out with you,
b) meet up with you for drinks,
c) travel to where you live,
d) have you travel to where I live, or
e) ever hear your voice again.

Date: 2003-06-26 08:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] achernow.livejournal.com
Not really but you can get mad when they refuse to go through the troubleshooting steps to figure out that it is the power cord and not something else. I work the help desk for a major university and I can tell you that a good number of the profs (some depts are worse than others) want the easy way out (iow, "Just send a tech over!").

AC

Date: 2003-06-26 08:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] achernow.livejournal.com
I get this all the time..

Me: "IT Services Help Desk..."
DR: "Hi this is Doctor ::pause:: ________."

AC

Date: 2003-06-26 08:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] achernow.livejournal.com
For customers:

1. Please.. Realize that we don't have the answers for everything.
(The help desk where I work is primarily student staffed.. Many people don't realize that we've never used or probably even seen half of the databases/software that have been custom created for some of the departments)

2. Please speak slowly and clearly. I know that you're panicing but if you're talking really, really fast I may miss an important detail that could help fix the problem.

3. Realize that we are not going to transfer you to a tech. And don't try the line that they asked you to call them back. First off, we're not allowed to transfer the call and second, if they wanted you to call them back, they would have given you their direct phone ext.

I can't think of any others right now...

The most important tip I can give the support people is that no matter how much of an a-hole the person is to you, be nice to them. 1. It looks good (especially if your boss is around) and 2. It really pisses the callers off.

AC

Date: 2003-06-26 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngtmagicks.livejournal.com
I can definately agree with that one.

Date: 2003-06-26 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fnordx.livejournal.com
One of my personal pet-peves, when I call in because my DSL has stopped working:

If I tell you I'm a networking technician, and that I've tried out a connection on multiple computers, and it will not come up on any of them, and I DO know what I am doing, and I want you to talk to your upper-level techs, because this same thing happened last night, don't spend half an hour on the phone, having me go through your script, asking me to enable this, or disable this, reboot 17 times, etc. I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, from the sounds of it, more than you do. TRUST ME! If I thought it was something you could fix, I would let you, or would have prolly already done it myself.

Date: 2003-06-26 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] opoth.livejournal.com
Speaking as a mostly former help desk tech for an ISP (still pick up some overtime occasionally doing this) we never worked from a script, and we never escalated to a higher level tech support rep. We were expected to have all the knowledge of everything that we supported.

Although we were pretty much the internet connectivity one stop shop from a technical support standpoint, we were required to document everything we did for the customer, and this includes the very basics that a person with any amount of knowledge would probably have done on their own already (powercycling the equipment, rebooting, blahblahblah) this is not because we do not necessarily think you're a liar when you say that you have an MCSE and that you've done all of this already, but if the basics aren't documented in the customer's ticket, it's going to be assumed that they weren't done. The tech's ticket does not account for what you may have done on your own. If these basic troubleshooting steps are not completed, in the eyes of management apparently the tech is not doing his job, and should probably not be employed.

You have NO IDEA how much I would have loved just to pass every whiny 15 year old who says "My DSL is down again!" up the line to our repair office and thus out of my hair, but I didn't. I was getting paid to perform my job duties in a particular way.

As a customer of the ISP you subscribe to, you are obligated to respect the possible chain of escalation from a "lowly" tech support rep to the field tech who may end up fixing your problem at the central office. If the way your ISP does business is not satisfactory to you, you are welcome to take your business elsewhere to a company that will give you a direct line to whoever you want to within the company, whenever you want to speak with them. Let me know when you find this company, I'll take my business there when you do.

Please don't take the above as the "rantings of a bitter tech"; I don't do this very much anymore, but I did for many years and can empathize with my brethren. Even at my most burned out, the approach of knowing that I am always the one in command of a particular customer's destiny and that "My home internet connection works, so why worry?" kept me from going too crazy. Don't mistake that for arrogance, it just allows me to make the problem less personal, thus I can help you better.

I guess the point that I'm trying to get at is, if I have to choose between my continued livelihood (ie. doing my job the way I'm expected to even when you don't want me to) and helping someone who doesn't appreciate what I do and possibly losing my job, I'll choose the money every time...there's just something about those shiny paychecks...I don't get it either.

It's not that I HATE or resent the customer; customers have a hard time seeing into the world of techs and vice versa. Customers don't realize that their frustration/venting/arrogance is often translated to "You don't want to help me, I'm an asshole" in the mind of the tech. The customer has an urgent need to be online, they are paying for a service that they aren't receiving. The tech is often caught in the crossfire and is the person that is the catalyst for getting the problem solved, so please try to carry a modicum of respect for us; to at least TRY and see it from our side, just a little bit. If we could fix your problem by flipping a switch on our desk, we would. There would be many more happy techs, and the field wouldn't have the burnout rate that it does.

Re:

Date: 2003-06-26 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampyre-child.livejournal.com
I think every Tech Support Rep Certed or not feels the IT pro's can be just plain out right Jack asses on the phone.

Re:

Date: 2003-06-26 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vampyre-child.livejournal.com
Ya nothing flusterd me more than having people who wouldent even try. But there are alot of End users who are Intemadated by there computer. So they prefer just to have some one come out and deal with it and no have the frustration.

Date: 2003-06-26 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oakleycub.livejournal.com
To add to that, as a solution to fnordx's particular scenario, if you have the previous case number, reference that. If not, ask if they could look up the previous case and that should allow the tech to do their job properly and expedite the end user's needs.

Date: 2003-06-26 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fnordx.livejournal.com
Believe me, I've gone through the same thing myself. But, being a tech for many years now, I know how to tech a problem myself, and I can tell when someone is working off of a script, and they don't really know what they're doing.

If someone is cool, and wants to work with me, yeah, that's cool, I'll work with them, and tell them what I've done, but when I say "I've worked tech support for X years, and I've teched this to the fullest of my ability, and it doesn't look like it's on my side", that means just that.

And, as far as taking my business elsewhere, I'd love to be able to have a choice again. Back in the dial-up days, if you didn't like your ISP, you could move to a different one. These days, you only get the people who've wired your apt. complex/neighborhood or who has your phone service. That's it. No other choices. If you don't like them, you don't get high speed.

And, if I say that something has happened in the past, I'd expect that people would look those cases up, and not just run through the script again.

I guess seeing this from a customer's point of view, I can understand why some of them go off, when they're presented with nothing but someone who wants to be paid to read off a script.

Is it too much to ask that I get the same kind of service that I try to give?

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