Are you familiar with THIS situation ??

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Operator: What Operating System do you have ?
Customer: Dont know! You tell me!

Customer: There is an Error
Operator: Which error is shown ?
Customer: Dont know. i clicked it away.

Operator: which driver have you installed ?
Customer: Hae ? no driver. i dont even have a car.

Operator: Whats on your monitor ?
Customer: A porcelain vase

--------------
THERE IS AN SOLUTION!!!

PLEASE!!! Dont kill/hit me!!

But There is an GREAT tool from Dell for exactly THIS kind of questions.
ftp://customer:customer@dropbox.us.dell.com/dropbox2/ips/DSET/

Windows: Dell_DSET_*.exe
Linux: delldset_v*.bin


Download this tool and run it on the System from which you want to gather informations.
It will create an .zip File on the Desktop (windows) (on Linux it tells you where it created it)
The password for the .zip file is "dell"

Extract the .zip file into an own directory and open the "dsetreport.hta" file
It will show you which drivers are installed, which software, which services are running, which error messages are shown in system-log, application-log, will show you the installed memory, network configuration, etc.. everything you want/need to know!


It was build for the Server Systems. It has an plugin to check the Embedded System Management Chip and to check the system for installed Hardware (including Slots etc) This features listed unter "System" and "Storage" wont work on a non-Dell Device.
But everything else, listed under "Software" should be available on every system (including most linux systems)


Hope that might help some of you sometimes! :)

Comments

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

why not use dxdiag?

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

why not use dxdiag:
Because...
it doesnt contain the installed programs
it doesnt contain the error messages from the sys-log
it doesnt contain the status of all services on the system
it doesnt contain irq list
it doesnt contain irq-conflics
it doesnt contain I/O Ranges
it doesnt contain memory Ranges
it doesnt contain network configuration
it doesnt contain harddrive configurations (partitioning)
it doesnt contain running processes
it doesnt contain the WHOLE registry
it doesnt contain available dump-files and where they are
it doesnt contain System-Uptime and WHY the system was down.

f.E:
Time Event Comment

Tue Dec 06 22:15:14 2005 Shutdown Prior uptime
Tue Dec 06 22:18:09 2005 Boot Prior downtime:0d :0h :2m :55s
Wed Dec 07 23:06:07 2005 Abnormal Shutdown
Wed Dec 07 23:06:07 2005 Boot Prior downtime:1d :0h :47m :58s
Fri Dec 09 03:58:21 2005 Abnormal Shutdown
Fri Dec 09 03:58:21 2005 Boot Prior downtime:1d :4h :52m :14s
Mon Dec 12 15:48:00 2005 Abnormal Shutdown
Mon Dec 12 15:48:00 2005 Boot Prior downtime:3d :11h :49m :39s

and because i LOVE this tool :) For EVERY situation as long as it is software related

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

"Operator: What Operating System do you have ?
Customer: Dont know! You tell me!"

LOL....Did you pull that off my comic from yesterday or have you also had a user say that to you?

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

you got ONE guess *G*
btw: thanks ;)

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

heh. You need to do an infomercial on it..
"It cuts, it dices, it makes julian fries"

The only issue I see with it will be if you don't have remove desktop access and need to try to explain to the luser how to run it and send you the zip.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

ooookay..
that MIGHT be a good point :)
but such loosers i also cant help *G*
"Drag the .zip file into the email and click SEND"

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

you honestly expect someone who doesn't know what their OS is to go to an ftp url, download a program, run the program, extract the zip file, and run dsetreport.hta, and then read back what it tells them?

the best of luck to you!

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

no problem. I could believe if you had a user say that to you. Where do you think I got that line from anyway? *BFEG* It's just sad that I have enough material on that particular subject that I can devote 1/12th of my comic strip to it.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

1) the url can be opened from every webbroser. (IE, Firefox)
in fact, you dont even need to DOWNLOAD it. just run it from that location.

2) you dont need extract anything. just run that .exe file.
That program CREATES an .zip file.

3) The problem is how you GET this file. you have to lead the customer to drag the .zip file into the email. that might be very hard...



Dammit... obviously i've been in enterprise Support for TOO long...

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

well.. then DO it :)
and make more strips!!!
at least 1 per day! AT LEAST!!! :)) *snugs*
as told, when iam LESS stressed somewhen, i'll flood you with ideas for strips *eg*

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

exactly! Half of them can't even tell me what color their start button is when I try to pin them down to Win XP. I cringe when I have to try and walk them through a winver or even just having them reboot and read the splash screen.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

*freaks out and cringes in pain*

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

wana bet?

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

NO! i DONT want to bet!
and i DONT want to GUESS!
and i DONT want to read this
*covers his eyes* lalalalalala......i dont read you!
*maniacally laugh*

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

iam not afraid of the question.
iam afraid that i know the ANSWER!

[dazzedelf.livejournal.com]

We were discussing the idea of a Bad customer revoke button. Where if we deem a person is too incompetant to use the computer that they get revoked from all access. that or if a customer to is too obnoxious we should be allowed to revoke their access until they get a much needed attitude adjustment. Could you imagine someone going to their boss, and letting them know they can't work for the next 24 hours because they cussed out the help desk? I think it would be nifty!

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

When I was doing windows support it was every other call. Mac users seem to be smarter, they don't tell me their operating system is aol.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

One ISP I worked for had something like this in their terms for support. If you didn't know enough to use your computer we could request that you find some one that did. This usually resulted in the customer whining and crying. I usually asked for their child/grandchild at this point.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Consumer tech support
Customer: Error message - "Please contact your network administrator."
Rep: "Put your kid on the phone."

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

Does that application work for non-Dell PCs? And what about Macs? :p

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

it also works for non-dell PCs.
for MACs.. aehm... good question :)
try it *G*

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

Would that I could. Perhaps when the new x86 line of Macs come drooling off the assembly line :-)

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

you may be suprised ;)

however still wouldn't work for me, but might for others, when i did helpdesk it was for an isp, and people called when they couldn't get connected to the net... sssoooo... you can see the problem there...

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

i love that question... every time i was asked it i could feel an hour of my life just dying...

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

i came up with that question in the hopes that it would give me an easy question to what i needed to know...

inevitably it would lead to conversations like :
what version of windows do you have?
oh gosh, i dont know, how do i find that out?
(unspoken: EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMNED TIME YOU TURN ON THE FUCKING COMPUTER THERE IS A HUGE ASS SPLASH SCREEN THAT TELLS YOU, DUMBSHIT)
spoken: well, what color is your start button?
oh it's red blue yellow and green. it's a flag.
no... what COLOR is the actual BUTTON, not the flag
black
no that is the color of the LETTERS on the button... (unspoken: now i will kill you)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

THERE IS AN SOLUTION!!!

My new favorite phrase :)

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

not the .exe.
but the .bin for linux ;)
dont know. might work :)

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

101!!! :)

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

hmmm... you might need informations like modem-driver. network configuration...
of course it wont show you the dial-up configuration including password.. but.. well. iam sure that can be implemented somehow *eg*

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

better:
Customer: Error message - "Please contact your network administrator."
Rep: Do you have kids ?
Customer: Yes, an 4 year old daughter.
Rep: Ok. that should do it. hand the phone to her.

[i-interrupted.livejournal.com]

lol