"Log off the WHOLE computer?"

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

The number of times I hear this after telling someone to log off - ARGH! It doesn't even make any sense!

I've taking to hitting mute and saying "No, you technotard. Just log off the left-hand half of it."

Comments

[basildestiny]

LOL! I love it.

I get this one a lot: Yes, I have an account with you.

This is followed by an extended "dramatic" pause which is only interupted when I try really hard to say in a positive and non-condescending tone "Ok." I would go for the whole "And how could I help you?" But that comes out 10x worse than just saying "Ok."

I envy your mute button!!!!

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

Or the lovely "Oh, do you want me to log off?" clarification.

"No, feckwit. I want you to stand on your head in a bucket of custard. But I'll settle for you logging off."

[annamaryse.livejournal.com]

'technotard'.... I like it!

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

i'd just be careful in making sure your mute button is always working. i knew a guy who had the habit of muting cutsomer and then ranting about how utterly stupid they were, and one time it didn't work and the woman heard the whole thing, including "I want to find the salesperson that duped this incompetant c**t into buying her peice of shit computer and rip his balls off" yeah, he got walked that night, because unfortunately, he was also being QRed on that call.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

You could try "Mmmmmmyeeeeeeeeess?" :)

[sarig.livejournal.com]

I've heard just rebooting the monitor should be effective. But when I try it, there seems to be no changes ;(

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

ok. i normally dont have the "Reboot" problem.
Iam always on to ask if its POSSIBLE to reboot the system. Because, ya know, an productive Server (fileserver, domaincontroller, Webserver, registration-server, etc) cant just be rebooted so easily. (domaincontroller wouldnt be that bad. but try rebooting the exchange server *G*)

So, when i ask "is it possible to reboot the system?"
then i often get the answer, "we already did that"
then i have to explain that i dont only want to reboot the system, but also want to check the bios of the raid-controller. but therefor we 1) need to reboot the server 2) need to have the CHANCE to reboot the server.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

I do the "Could you please turn off your computer? Off. Completely dead. Off."

"Sure"

*** pause ***

"So is the computer off now?"

"It's just rebooting."

***********AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH*******

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

oh. really ?
have to try that.
WOW! i just rebooted the whole monitor and my excel-document is STILL there!

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

then take a deep breath, calm down and say, "ok. then we have to wait until we can select the 'shut down' option"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

"so the computer is off now?"
"Oh, I just logged off. That is the same thing as turning it off, right?"

[captain-jester.livejournal.com]

"Can I take out my battery and Sim card while I'm on the phone with you?"

Okay see this is why they asked you at tier one if you were on the phone having this problem.

"Absolutely. If we get disconnected just call back from a landline" <.<

[inahandbasket]

... ouch

[thalionar.livejournal.com]

on the flip side, I often ask people to close an application (esp mainframe emulators, it's usually easier than getting them to disconnect when they're hung up) and the next thing I know, they've rebooted the freaking system.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Embalming room? I wanna work where you do.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

This is the kinda crap they need to be teaching in basic computer classes. Not how to use Word.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

s/If we get disconnected just call back from a landline//g

No reason to prevaricate when they're about to experience a valuable life lesson.