what should I have done?

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

I work at the computer help desk at a small college. The other day, I get a phone call from a telemarketer.
Me: Computer user services, this is [me]
Telemarketer: Hi, can I speak to the person in charge of laptops and purchasing?
Me: *with telemarketer-o-meter going off* May I ask what about?
Telemarketer: I have a laptop security product he would be interested in.
Me: Let me put you on hold.
I do so, and tell the nearest full time staffer that I have a telemarketer on the line selling laptop security.
Full timer: *shouts to our boss* Do we need any laptop security products?
Boss: What? No? What?
Most of us at the desk are in favor of just keeping the guy on hold until he gives up and goes away. Instead, I tell the guy that nobody around is authorized to make any purchases and since he wants to know, tell him that he can call back later, and write a ticket warning those who have the later shifts.

So. Telemarketers. Ever gotten one at work? How did you handle it?


Also, to the girl who wanted her password changed: you need ID. I don't care if it's your school ID, expired high school ID, passport or driver's license, I just need something that shows who you are. No, I don't recognize you, why would I? Are you that famous?

To the people who stroll into the labs, sit down at an already logged in computer and start working (including printing): what is going through your head? Don't you realize that someone else's email inbox is right there? That the print screen does not say your name? Seriously, people. You've been here for a month now, at the very least, and you don't understand that every single public computer on campus requires a login?

Comments

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

You've been here for a month now, at the very least, and you don't understand that every single public computer on campus requires a login?

Oh, they understand. Their reasoning? "But it's EASIER! They won't mind! Why are you making such a fuss about it?"

"So, can I use your login?"

"Hell no! Respect my privacy, you freak."

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

1) tell him: "yes, we are ALWAYS interested in new products! there is an seperate department for these issues. Please call the 0190 - . its only 5$ per minute. *G*

2) tell him: "laptop ? what is that ? sounds interesting. please tell me more" when he starts to tell you what an laptop is ask him if they sell LAPTOPS? and once he is completely pissed off because you seem to not understand him, get all technical on him and ask him about ISO 8856, landattacks, DOS-attacks and 404 Problems >:)

[annamaryse.livejournal.com]

Just assume that anyone calling the help desk line to try to make a sale, is an idiot. Wise companies never deal with telemarketers anyhow. So it's very simple, you say no thank you, sorry, our company doesn't do business with telephone solicitators.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

I tell them that we are not interested. If they persist, I say we only purchase via vendor partners and if they were one of our partners they would be speaking directly to our procurement department.

It's even true occasionally.

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

I work the internal corporate support. Had a guy silver tongue his way past our customer contact line, past our corporate security department, to me. The graveyard guy. I had this guy going for 20 minutes, the whole time he was cussing and swearing a storm trying to intimidate his way past me, saying that I would cause major damage to our network if he didn't get in touch with someone who could authorize the purchase of his software. I only wish this one time the call monitor program was attached to my phone as a user, not the admin.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

I'm mostly deaf/hard of hearing, so our receptionist traps most of the telemarketers by getting their name and coming to see if i want to talk to them.

But generally, if someone calls me, spams me, or mails me something, I automatically put them on my "never buy from these people" list.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I work for megacorp... the customers are lucky to make it through the IVR to me nevermind telemarketers.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Remember to ask them who they represent first, so you can thank them for telling you who not to do business with.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

They never learn, do they?

There isn't a telemarketer on the planet who can intimidate a true tech.

[teriwyn.livejournal.com]

I work as a contractor to an Information Management division on an Army base.

Around the past couple of months (closing in on the FY), we get people calling and asking for people with a varying level trickery.

Thing is, we aren't even in the same building as the xyz title they ask for, and anyone we SUPPORT will know this.

Luckily, we have a policy in place for these calls.

"I'm sorry, but this line is only for providing technical assistance to users of the Ft. zyx network. Let me connect you to our Public Affairs Office."

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

Indeed!

Usually they ask to speak to the manager or owner and I say, "Sure, just one moment please" and hang up the receiver.

Once, I had one call me back once after I hung up. She said, "I'm sorry, we got disconnected. Can I speak to the manager or owner?". So I said, "Sure! One moment please" and then hung up again. :D

Ahhh wonderbar telemarketers

[gythiawulfie.livejournal.com]

I work on a remote campus for a university. Soooo, I get to have ALL sorts of fun.

Usually, I just hang up on them, especially if their accent is so thick I have to think about what they said to understand what they said.

When they ask for the person in charge? I give them the main 1-800 number to the purchasing department in Tallahassee, where they can APPLY to be a vendor. I explain they have to apply to be a vendor. They go what? I said to even solicit, they have to apply to be a vendor.

You can always tell someone they have to apply to be a vendor, in other words, the requirements are a notebook, in quintuplets, bound and in color, with pricing, and 6 references complete with services rendered, phone numbers and addresses. Well you get the point. AND if someone ACTUALLY does that, then they are not just a run around telemarketer, they are truly someone looking to add business in a legit manner, and were forced to make a cold call.

[jecook]

I rarely get cold calls. the few telemarketing calls I do get are for stuff I've already looked at (I attended a marketing event for APC and looked at their data centre solution products, and I've had a few calls after that.

The single other call I've gotton was from some company trying to sell us a T-1. I already told him that we have a long term contact signed with another company, and he didn't push it. Guess I'm lucky that way.

Oooo!!! Telemarketer fun!!!

[tanuki-green.livejournal.com]

Calls around our place usually go something like this:

Telemarketer: Hi, can I speak to the person in charge of laptops and purchasing?

Me: Do you have the name of a person you're trying to contact?

Telemarketer: Um. No, can I just speak to the person in charge of laptops and purchasing?

Me: Do you have any idea what we do here? Do you have any idea of who you called?

Telemarketer: Um.

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Calls around our place usually go something like this:

Telemarketer: Hi, can I speak to the person in charge of laptops and purchasing?

Me: Do you have the name of a person you're trying to contact?

Telemarketer: Um. No, can I just speak to the person in charge of laptops and purchasing?

Me: Do you have any idea what we do here? Do you have any idea of who you called?

Telemarketer: Um. <The answer here will usually dictate the remainder of the conversation... Either way, I still have fun messing with their minds>

One time, I almost had the guy convinced that I knew no one that worked where I answered phones, and that people in black suits just came and left the building past my desk without saying a word. I advised that it would seem in my business, questions were dangerous things.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

At least one guy realized his error after he printed (which costs $) and told us what happened. But we usually only find out once someone complains that they can't log onto their home server or do other things which Kerberos automatically authenticates.

But oh! Login is soooo sloow, so of course it's okay to just use an empty computer. Jesus. I knew operating primarily on the honor principle doesn't work, but I'd like to think that it does.

Re: Oooo!!! Telemarketer fun!!!

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

I knew no one that worked where I answered phones, and that people in black suits just came and left the building past my desk without saying a word.
Sometimes it would seem that way, which probably explains why he almost bought it.

I try to be too nice and helpful, apparently. Directly confronting the telemarketers (if I ever get another one) would be a darn good idea.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

I disturbed my officemates laughing about that one. Good for you!

Re: Oooo!!! Telemarketer fun!!!

[tanuki-green.livejournal.com]

Yes - my general philosophy is that telemarketers get paid so I can have fun with them. My wife and I play with them at home too.

You might also look at this counterscript:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

I really like that one too. ;)

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

I say: "Im sorry, we dont accept soliciting calls."

And thats it. If they persist, I hang up.

Re: Oooo!!! Telemarketer fun!!!

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

Occasionally I have gotten calls from telemarketers who obviously have no idea who their calling.

Me: [Worlds Largest Software Company] this is Kyle

Telemarketer: Hello, Im selling this new collaboration solution, would you liek to hear about it?

Me: Do you realise you called [Worlds Largest Software Company] and that we have a solution just like that called Sh***Point?

Telemarketer: *hangs up or trys to save face*

Re: Oooo!!! Telemarketer fun!!!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"We're your biggest competitor. Should you really be calling us, if your employer is logging your phone calls?"

[analise.livejournal.com]

Out of curiousity, would that be Ft. Meade? I work over that way, myself.

[teriwyn.livejournal.com]

Nope. Laurel would be a bit too much of a drive, for me.

[analise.livejournal.com]

Ah, I really need to figure out where things are in relation to one another. I just moved here recently. :)

[teriwyn.livejournal.com]

Ah, that was more of a personal statement of commute-hating, really. I'm sure there are people insane enough to drive from northern Montgomery County to Laurel. I'm just not one of them.

Hell, I know people around here who commute further than that. However, they all get paid much more than I do... :P