[identity profile] the-paco.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] techrecovery
Oh man I love free work coffee. Some days the coffee makes it worthwhile to listen to all these calls.
Why!? Because I'm high as a kite, that's why! And it's on sugar and caffeine! YAAAAY! I'm sitting there talking to my customers three miles a minute pacing through my cube like a hamster bouncing around the cage while munching x-tacy food-pellets.
I feel like:
"Ok sir let's go ahead and log in to your modem. Push 192.168.1.1."
"What?"
"192.168.1.1!"
"Slow down"
"NO! You have to type it now! Type it now or you will surely die! TYPE! TYPE! NOOOOO Too late!"
"I have it typed in."
"Sorry, sir but the CIA ninja assassins are surely on their way and we cannot stop them. The Ninjas are life, and they bring unto ye death! Nice knowing you!"

I walk by my boss and say stuff like: "HowdybosshowyadoinyawantcoffeebettergogetsomecoffeeIdunnowhotookallthecoffeebutI'mgonnahuntthejerkdownandmakehimpayOhlookItookallthecoffeebutIcannotbeatmebecauseI'mhappyandfluffyandFredFlinstoneonmyshouldertellsmenottobeatmyselfespeciallynotinpublicsogoodbye!"

"You must click! Click the mouse, damn your eyes! You must right click! I don't care if it's a mac! Take a dremel to that wimpy little half-assed arty-farty mouse, cut it right down the center and make it RIIIIIGHT! Bring the righteousness of the right to those curs-ed single clickers!"

Yes, my phone is my podium from which to spread the Word of Paco.

The only thing that makes this tech support is the fact that I'm at work and chair dancing during calls. If you see some gibbering nutjob wandering around your workplace, take a moment to give them $0.50, that they might buy more coffee and sit next to you saying "My god! It's full of monkeys!... AAHH! AND THEY'RE FLINGING POOOOO!!!" Keep them safe and pop yourself some popcorn while you laugh, for it may just be me or my spirit ranting at you at how 'The War of the Worlds' is the WORST REMAKE EVAH because they didn't molest ewoks.
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