More oldies but goodies...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

HIM: (after a five minute wait or so) Are you guys short-staffed today?

ME: (what I WANTED to say) First of all, no, because people JUST LIKE YOU DID, SIR, are forgetting their passwords this week! And SECOND of all, SIR, what BUSINESS is it of YOURS?

HER: Um, yeah, I'm new, and some tech came and took my computer away but they didn't say where they were going. Can you find my computer for me?

ME: (what I WANTED to say) Um, why didn't you ASK them WHY they were taking it and WHERE it was being taken and WHEN it would be back? You're four states away from me, you spineless idiot. Now I have to write a PROBLEM TICKET for this stupidity.

HIM: Yes, I want my password to be "assist." That's a-s-s-i-s-t.

ME: (what I WANTED to say) Yeah, thanks for clearing that up. I always spell it "assisst."

ME: OK, and what phone number can you be reached at?

HER: Well, this is DEBBIE!

ME: (what I WANTED to say) Oh, oh, right, Debbie. Stupid of me, I should know off the top of my head that your phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. I am falling behind in my goal of learning all the contact information of all 130,000 of our company's employees.

HIM: Yeah, I need my password reset.

ME: OK, your password for what?

HIM: Reset.

Comments

[firewallender.livejournal.com]

I have soooo many "Debbie" people at work it's not even funny. Especially the ones that call and leave me a message assuming I know who it is and how to reach them just by recognizing their voice. Oye.

[nuadha-prime.livejournal.com]

I used to get that short-staffed question all the time. Our department had no wait usually so whenever techs were on calls and the person had to wait two or more minutes, they would ask. I just always told them, "yeah, people called off," whether that was the issue or not because it shut them up.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I tend to tell them "No.. Just a lot of (stupid) people (like you) calling up for help today" (because you can't find your own arse with a fucking GPS)

Leaving that which is in parenthesis hanging unspoken in the air, o' course :P

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'd have used "A lot of people having trouble remembering their password." Makes it sound like you're about to start offering memory drugs to every caller.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Oh, chocolate-coated selection of deities.

"That wasn't a tech, it was a garbage collector. You better request a new computer."

"Oh! Debbie Nahasapeemapetilon in [location we have no offices in]!"

Although I'd probably use "Which password?" instead of "Password for what?", as the latter probably sounds too much like the end-user phrase "Password, uh, doing what?". Ach.

[jecook]

WHen I get those type of voice mails, I just delete em.

Plus, my message says that unless it's urgent to fill out a work order (as we are STILL using the fricken paper forms...)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, WTF. I mean, we employ like the entire states of Virginia and Texas, first of all, and have like 293870298347209384 other locations... so... Debbie... yeah...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I used to try "Which password?" and they would always respond "MY password." Then I would say "Your password for which system?" and they would either say "THE system," "THE SYSTEM I AM TRYING TO GET INTO," or "Why don't you start listing systems and I'll tell you which one it is?"