I just had one of those calls you only read about on tech support humor websites....

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

I asked her what the problem was and she said it keeps saying modem not responding (so I assume she hits connect and gets that error immediately) on with the notes from the call:

- modem not responding properly
- she has checked the cords
- she has turned the modem off and on
- this is a new external USRobotics modem
- asked if she installed the software and the modem the way it instructed her to do it
- she says, "I did a long time ago." and then started rambling
- then I find out that it has been working fine since she got it (2 weeks ago) until today
- asked what has she done between the time it was working and it stopped working
- wrong question to ask
- asked what dialer she is using
- she said FreePPP and then I find out it's PPP
- checked modem: modem port USR Universal
- everything looks fine
- shut down
- shut off the modem
- turned on the modem
- turned on the computer
- some sort of fax software came up that she closed out of (this may be the problem)
- tried to connect
- it picked up on us
- that's better
- then she tells me that it was dialing and handshaking and then getting that error before she called me
- grrrrrrrrrrrr
- did a search for FreePPP
- found LOTS of matches
- checked if any were application programs
- only the reference file
- asked if she has our company software cd
- she does
- (she asked me how to put the cd in her computer)
- told her to take the cd out of the case and place it in her cd rom drive shiny side down
- she said she did and nothing happened
- (I suddenly have this horrible feeling she didn't put it in a CD Rom drive)
- asked what she put the cd in
- she doesn't know but she said the word slot
- asked her to describe the "slot" she put it in
- what she's describing sounds like a crack in the computer or something
- I don't think she put it in the correct drive or anything
- she is now saying she isn't sure if she can get it out
- asked her if she has EVER put a CD in her computer before
- no
- (I'm slitting my wrists now)
- told her that we need to either create and install a new modem script through the company software or install FreePPP from the disk to put in an init string to slow down her modem because it isn't communicating correctly with our servers
- told her if we can't get this disk working, she needs to call USR and get a modem script to slow down her modem
- she says she will just call them and see if she can get a modem script to slow down her modem