techrecovery | Dear Fucktard of the Day,

Dear Fucktard of the Day,

I don't know how you fucked up your router, but you wasted an hour and a half of my morning by not listening to me. I can ping your router, I can not log in. When I ask you to try each port on the router, do not plug yourself back into your firewall because you know your computer will say you are connected when you do, this does not mean you are connected to the internet and the internet is broken, it means you are connected to your firewall and ~~your head~~ something else is broken. After we finally determine that the ethernet hub in your router is dead, and you request for the soonest dispatch possible, do not bitch at me for another half an hour when it is Thursday morning, and I can't guarentee anyone until Monday morning. Also, if you are not available Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week, do not tell me by telling me you could have new service with another provider by monday morning (btw, no, you can't). When I tell you that I did you a favor and requested (before you bitched about how far away Monday is, by the way) that the tech try to squeeze you in sometime today or tomorrow, do not yell at me about how that's not good enough and that your day is waisted.

When I call you back in two hours to tell you that the tech said there is no way to fit you in today and that he will -try- to get out there tomorrow, if he has time, please just say thank you and get back in your box, do not yell at my co-workers as if we have done you a personal wrong. At least he was nice enough escalate the sooner dispatch request for you.

If you call and bitch at me because no one called you before a tech came out (that you say your neighbor saw), do not accuse me of lying when I tell you the notes say that no tech has been out, nor can come out at all, today. Then inform me that you think you should have someone out this soon because you are a business customer, you already have priority over consumers, and those business customers with your service, but slower speeds, while there are people who pay 3, 4, and 5 times what you pay in order to have someone out within 4 hours. Do not threaten me to switch to SBC with some deal you immagined where you get 1.5 up and down for $300/month, if you want to switch to SBC, fucking go and switch to SBC, then I won't have you wasting my day because you think you are the alpha and the omega of customers.

But what really pissed me off was that as soon as you hung up with me, you called back, and spoke with a coworker of mine saying the exact same things, and thus, calling me a liar.

I am actually hoping that you sit by your cellphone tomorrow waiting for a call that never comes and thus "wasting" another of your precious days. Then, the soonest your internet will be fixed will be Thursday, because it apparently isn't that important, or you would at least arrange for someone to be there monday morning.

You wasted my first hour and a half here today by thinkign you know everything and not listening to what I say this morning. You wasted more of my time at lunch by bitching about me not being able to promise you someone can come out today, the you pissed me off by calling me a liar for my last half-hour here today.

I hope you get AOL.
And Die.
<small x-posted to various places>