(no subject)

[thesawg.livejournal.com]

Probably the calls I hate the most would be the ones I refer to as Redneck Relay calls.  It when you have someone call up that doesn't have a portable phone or one near the computer.  So, they choose to do this by putting the "smart" one in the family at the computer and then usually some brick is at the phone.  Of course the person on the phone usually is lacking in their listening skills as well, so they get half the stuff wrong.  And with the customers I have the person on the computer isn't smart enough to figure out what the yeller meant to say.


Me: Double Click on "Local Area Connection"
Yeller: *yells in my ear* Click on Local Contraption Area.
Me: No, Local Area Connection.
Yeller: That's what I said.
Me: Sure
Guy on computer: I don't see it.
Yeller: We don't see it
Me: So I heard.  What do we see, we are looking for an icon that says Local Area Connection.  We want to find that icon and double click on it.
At this point, I take my headset off because I have a headache already and just want a few seconds.

and this continues ad nauseam.  And of course there is no other phones they can use.  And they don't seem to prone handing the phone to the guy at the computer and running back and forth.  I so rather have someone run back in forth instead of having some inbred twat yelling at another idiot across the room and getting it wrong along the way.

Comments

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, oh yes, I have total sympathy for this! I get them a lot!

[prozacnation.livejournal.com]

or the whole inbred family on speakerphone wondering "Liek um it's a new computer but we've here got TONS of spyware on it! why do we have that?" Inbred wife, "yeah I just don't understand it."

All talking over each other. Gah!

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

It makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a plastic spoon and shoot them. My favorite part of the whole thing is you know you are in trouble when they say the "computer expert" is an the computer. This means that the person is actually a detriment to themselves, the computer and society. Makes you wish that 1. their family tree was not a utility pole and 2. that they had paid more attention in elementary school when people played the game telephone 3. they would quit procreating 4. that they would pay the $9 for a cordless phone

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I had one of these where the "computer expert" was on the computer and the dad was on the phone. The "expert" was a 14-year-old who decided that being a volunteer beta-tester for AOL not only made him an "expert," but posed no threat to his computer.

*sings fdisk-format-reinstall*

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

FFR such a great song

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

if you use AOhell that instantly makes you non techie.

[brutalentropy.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm sayin!

I seriously don't even KNOW anybody who doesn't own a cordless phone.

I mean Christ, these rednecks probably shop at Walmart (TM, R, etc), right? They sell them there, last time I checked...

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

walmart sells a uniden 900mhz chordless phone for $9.99 and it is a two channel phone. The best thing is, is that my dorm is populated with those phone and so it is a guarntee that when you are talking you will wind up talking to whomever the nearest person was talking to on that channel and them whoever you were. Thus you hit the channel switch button and wind up talking to someone completely different and you have to keep switching until you get back to your mom. It is quite funny because get caught up on gossip and what is going on in realtionships. IT is amazing how cheap college students are. Personally I have a real chordless now however this entertained me for three weeks. But if they don't have an over proliferation of those phones in the area they work great. PS baby monitors and police scanners can pick up 900mhz phones if close enough and this provides great amounts of phone fun.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sometimes I'd have 'em start off with a refrain of DEBUG first as a punishment.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

That's what I had thought, but this kid thought that the phrase "beta tester" trumped everything. heh.

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

debug is a wonderful punishment and should be the implicit refrain when singing this song.

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

beta testing AOhell is like playing russian rulett with a semi-automatic pistol. YOU WILL LOOSE

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I'd always tell them "you will feel like a GOD when this is done".

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yes, although I helped him do a file copy in DOS so he wouldn't lose his homework. I am so nice.

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

it makes them feel all fake l33t and geeky inside

[mineral777.livejournal.com]

you are too kind.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Well, of course I combined it with a few helpful hints about how beta-testing for AOL might not be the best move, but that if he reinstalled all that software for it, I was sure he and I would be talking again soon.