An employee called having trouble with an online course. After determining she had no pop-up blockers installed, I tried to go to the learning site to launch the course and recreate the issue. I got redirected to MyWebSearch. We chatted while I was getting rid of several pieces of spyware (Her:"What's spyware?"), and here are a few gems. Bear in mind she has a thick Texas accent and speaks very slowly, like she's dreaming.
Her: "I thought spyware was something that protected us against viruses."
Me: "Uh, no." (explained to her what spyware is)
Her: "But I don't have anything important on my computer! I only have my social security number in one place."
Me: "Ma'am, you have a computer full of (large defense contractor) proprietary information."
Her: "I DO?!? But I don't know anything secret or anything like that! I just work mostly with contracts."
Me: "You realize that information does not have to be "top secret" or classified to be considered sensitive, don't you? Those contracts you deal with are worth millions of dollars! Our company considers that HIGHLY sensitive information, and so should you!"
Her: "OOOOOOOOOOOooooooh.!"

Her: "Can you see me when you are remoted into my computer?"
Me: "Uhhh...you mean your body? No, ma'am."
Her: "Oh, I thought you could. They just put in all this optic...optic...optics here and at this other site."
Me: "You mean videophones or video conferencing?"
Her: "No, fiber something."
Me: "Fiber optics?"
Her: "Yeah! Fiber optics!"
Me: (explains what copper wire and fiber cables do)
Her: "OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooh!"

Seriously, where do they GET these people?
Her: "I thought spyware was something that protected us against viruses."
Me: "Uh, no." (explained to her what spyware is)
Her: "But I don't have anything important on my computer! I only have my social security number in one place."
Me: "Ma'am, you have a computer full of (large defense contractor) proprietary information."
Her: "I DO?!? But I don't know anything secret or anything like that! I just work mostly with contracts."
Me: "You realize that information does not have to be "top secret" or classified to be considered sensitive, don't you? Those contracts you deal with are worth millions of dollars! Our company considers that HIGHLY sensitive information, and so should you!"
Her: "OOOOOOOOOOOooooooh.!"

Her: "Can you see me when you are remoted into my computer?"
Me: "Uhhh...you mean your body? No, ma'am."
Her: "Oh, I thought you could. They just put in all this optic...optic...optics here and at this other site."
Me: "You mean videophones or video conferencing?"
Her: "No, fiber something."
Me: "Fiber optics?"
Her: "Yeah! Fiber optics!"
Me: (explains what copper wire and fiber cables do)
Her: "OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooh!"

Seriously, where do they GET these people?