My keyboard is broken, so that's an email problem!

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Please note, I work in the email & remote access queue. There are other queues people can choose to get their calls routed to, like mainframe systems, classified systems, and desktop (which is the "everything else" option--hardware, and all things that people don't know what category they go in).


HER: Yes, I called in a problem ticket yesterday.
ME: OK, and what was that for?
HER: My keyboard.
ME: (this is email?) Your... keyboard?
HER: Yes; it's broken.
ME: (giving her every chance to figure out that maybe she shouldn't have chosen the "email" queue) So, this is a... hardware problem?
HER: Yes.
ME: (ready to get her in with the right people as there's no wait) OK, hardware problems are normally taken care of by your desktop queue, rather than the email queue, so if you hold on for just a moment, I can get you in with--
HER: But I can't GET my email, BECAUSE MY KEYBOARD IS BROKEN!

Um, lady? WTF. You know what that logic says to me?

If the water in your building is shut off, you won't be able to flush the toilet, so you won't be able to use the toilet, so you won't be able to drink water/coffee/tea/whatever you drink, so you won't feel like doing work, so you won't be getting your email, so you will CALL THE EMAIL QUEUE to fix the water in your building?

How about if your car breaks down, you won't be able to get to work, so you won't be getting your email, so you will CALL THE EMAIL QUEUE to fix your car?

How about if the terror alert is set to red, you won't want to go to work at a secure facility, so you won't be getting your email, so you will CALL THE EMAIL QUEUE to STOP THE TERRORISTS?

Holy cow.

Comments

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to equate logic to end users again?

^_^x

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Well, no, obviously I didn't bother telling her my logical conclusions. Would have been way over her head!

Maybe next time, try:

[nightbear.livejournal.com]

"Okay, the apparent cause of your email problem is with a hardware issue. Please open up a hardware call and after the hardware issue is resolved, we can check to see if you still have an email issue."

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

She'd already done the hardware ticket and was calling for status.

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[cmdrproteus.livejournal.com]

Hell, I'd be quick to say "Ok, apparently the email problem can be linked to a PEBKAC and possibly an ID-10-T error in the desktop" :)

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Heh, I wish we could do that here. Unfortunately, I have to keep my job and make sure my husband and son retain their health insurance. ;)

[kallell.livejournal.com]

This is why you keep a number to a nueral surgeon on hand to transfer to

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

She was in Fort Worth, though, and I'm in Orlando. I would feel bad if I transferred her to a surgeon who wasn't in her area. I am the helpdesk, after all. ;)

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[cmdrproteus.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding? That's about the only reason I'm even remotely nice to these nitwits, so I can get paid! :P

To be fair, I'll be nice if you'll be reasonable (being a little angry at your problem is fine, I understand), but I won't spend five minutes listening on how you think the reason your computer won't turn on is because "God is trying to save you from the evilzzz 0f th4 1n+3rN3+z!! LOLZZZ!!"

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Speaking of possessed computers, don't you love the one about how their portable computers won't turn off NO MATTER WHAT? And then you tell them to unplug it and they're all "But the BATTERY!" and then you tell them to oh, say, REMOVE the battery, and they lie that they already tried that and that the computer STAYED ON?

I love that. "Your computer will not turn off even if it is not connected to any power source? Ha."

Re: Maybe next time, try:

[cmdrproteus.livejournal.com]

Ha, I get the ones who emkploy circular logic. For some reason, up until last year, we ran Windows 95 on our lesser machines (we use XP now) and often times their programs would overwhelm Windows 95 to the point where the whole thing would sometimes freeze...here it comes.

I advise them that when that happens (ie it doesnt respond to keyboard or mouse movements) to just opwer off the computer and restart it.

Them: Oh, I heard that's BAD for it, I don't think I should do it!!!
Me: I assure you, you won't be any worse off and if it doesnt come back up, I'll come by and take a look at it and reimage or replace the machine (a perk of being a field tech)
Them: Umm...ookkkk...