Just one of those days.

[celyste.livejournal.com]

'I can't get online!"
"Ok... well... let's powercycle!"
"No!!! I've done it 10 times and it never works! I refuse!"

lather. rinse. repeat.

"Please try it already"
"fine... hey... why did it work for you?"
"magic fairies sir."

yes, I did say it aloud. No, I didn't get trouble for it. and sadly, yes, he did believe me

--------------------

"I can't get online!
"Well let's powercycle. Direct connect or with a router?"
"That's none of your business!"
"Actually, it sort of is sir. Do you have one there?"
"It has no bearing! Just get me online"
"Sir, I don't honestly care one whether you have a router or not, but it does change whether we cycle the modem or if we have to also cycle the router in sequence."
"It does?"

to his credit, he'd already called a bunch of times and been told to disco the router before they even tried cycling it

--------------------

"I can't get online and this is the fourth day in a row! Your service sucks!"
"Did you call in about it?"
"No. I was giving you time to fix it."
"Fix the problem we didn't know about. Ok... well you have a router? let's powercycle it. Online? have a good day."

what a waste of four days

--------------------

"I'm so dumb at this. I'm not very computer illiterate"
"That's ok sir... what version of windows do you have?"
"No idea" (turns out to be winNT)
"Do you have a router?"
"It's an rca modem"
"ok... and does the big phone cord at that rca modem go to the pc or another little boxy thing?"
"I don't know much about computers" obviously.
...
"So let's powercycle the modem and router and when that's back we'll try going online again"
"ok... so I'm opening firefox now... "

I just couldn't get how someone that's "Not very computer illiterate" (or aware of the English language) would set up a homenetwork, with NT and use firefox. And then I heard the 8yr old in the background. It suddenly made sense... and me angry that he couldn't have just passed me over to the network admin of the house. ;-)

Comments

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

"I can't get online and this is the fourth day in a row! Your service sucks!"
"Did you call in about it?"
"No. I was giving you time to fix it."
"Fix the problem we didn't know about. Ok... well you have a router? let's powercycle it. Online? have a good day."

what a waste of four days


And then they want credit for four days of service...

[celyste.livejournal.com]

usually... thankfully that didn't come up. Couldn't have done it anyway... not only do we not support routers, but they didn't call in.

always makes me want to say 'sorry ma'am... our telepathy is still in beta testing."

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

In the two and a half years I have worked at *broadband isp support* I usually have gotten that at least once every 6 months.

Like we have ESP...

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

our company has two VPN servers to connect to. When the user launches the VPN software, they can select either one of the two servers, plain as daylight.

So when one of the servers is having a connection problem, do they even try the other one, or just call tech support?

yeah, they call tech support witout trying the other server, naturally.

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

Things that I've told users that I replaced/threatened in their machine:

Faries, Gnomes, hampsters, AI, electrons, other users.

I've also preformed excorcisms on the building network archetecture by ranting up and down the aisles telling the demons to "quit these cables and begone from these routers."

The supervisors didn't quite know what to do but the network started working better about 10 minutes later.

I love my job.

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

i like you.

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

I used to love being passed to 10 year olds! They were more computer literate than their parents, and were so happy to be doing this adult thing that they would listen to my instructions and do exactly what I said!

[celyste.livejournal.com]

The youngest I've ever gone to was a 6 year old. He was amazing. So good with the computer, so good with instructions, and so amazingly polite! "Yes ma'am, I've put the ip address in the box ma'am." Should have hired him *L*

[celyste.livejournal.com]

awh... thank you!

[celyste.livejournal.com]

hehehe... that is so perfect. I can totally see that happening at work too. Somedays we don't know whether to help the people calling in, or if we should get off the phones and fix our own systems.

[celyste.livejournal.com]

well of course! afterall... why would changing servers help anything? *L*

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

That's awesome.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

It used to be that way, now I find they're more interested in chatting on aol to their buddies

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

I've been out of the industry for a few years, but wouldn't wanting to chat on aol be more of an incentive for them to want to help fix their Internet connection?

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. My favourite explanation to our users for why a reboot would fix a known problem with the nyetwork card on a particular type of PC:

"Well, what happens is that every so often the PC gets all confused by the messages coming through from the network, and curls up in a gibbering heap. When we switch it off for 30 seconds, it's the PC equivalent of a cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down. When you switch it back on, it's all better, and it's going to work fine."

And behold, we would, and it was, and it did.

Oddly enough, that one seemed to go down quite nicely with the majority of the people I told it to. An entire line of PCs with a dodgy NIC is incomprehensible. A PC which is having a nervous breakdown apparently isn't.

(Explanation for those who aren't Australians of a certain age - "Bex" was a name for a proprietary brand of headache powders. Their marketing slogan was "a cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down", and this particular combination was supposed to fix anything up to and including impending apocalypse).

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Sure, if they were logical, coherent and intelligent.

Chances?

[psyco-path.livejournal.com]

I love it!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

'I can't get online!"
"Ok... well... let's powercycle!"
"No!!! I've done it 10 times and it never works! I refuse!"

My remedy for these ones is "Did you get the [insert techno-bullpuckey here] done while the machine was switched off?"

User: "Uh, no...?"

Me: "Ah! Right, we'd better get THAT fixed, then. Switch it off for a moment and I'll sort it out."

User: *disbelieving switch-off*

Me: *techno-sounds, typing and muttering etc down the line for 30 seconds* OK, switch back on and tell me exactly what it says."

User: *confused switch-on*

Device: *works*

User: *is astounded*

Me: *is now a god, or at least Captain Wonderpants*

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

Ah. I see your point.

[japester.livejournal.com]

"Ok... well... let's powercycle!"
"No!!! I've done it 10 times and it never works! I refuse!"

lather. rinse. repeat.

"Please try it already"
"fine... hey... why did it work for you?"
"magic fairies sir."

I like that. i've also gotten away with 'black magic', it's just me, or my favourite for the last few weeks, "well, sir/madam, the computers know me. They know the size of the stick that I can swing and that with one short flick of the wrist I can send them to the big scrap heap in the sky. *That's* why they obey me. They know they can walk all over you, so they do."