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Apr. 14th, 2005 09:03 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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techrecoveryTo the twit that called me today saying that her sound isn't working:
#1. Don't be shocked and indignant when I tell you that listening to streaming audio/video over the network is not allowed. I am not going to tell you what sites work and what don't. Buy a freakin' IPod like everyone else already if you want to listen to your music. No we will not get you a new computer because your system freezes when you listen to Yanni CDs. Serves you right for listening to that crap.
#2. Don't play the "Well, my husband works over there..." card. I am not going to bend rules for you. Apparently what he knows hasn't rubbed off at all on you. Think I give a crap? Why didn't you call him in the first place? Oh. Right. I don't blame you, he's an idiot. Shut your whiny yap already.
#3. Gee, y'know, your computer is misbehaving. No, I have no idea why it's beeping like hell. If you'd stop and shut up, AND stop trying to boot me off remote control...
#4. Sure. Blame us. Don't get upset when I point out that you shouldn't be downloading every obscure media playing program out there so you can get around the corporate firewall. I don't think 'Universal Media Player' is on our approved short-list, sorry. Yep, this certainly looks like our fault. Gosh, I don't know how we could have screwed up your PC so badly.
#5. No! You won't get into trouble at all. Certainly not. I'm just writing this note up to Corporate Security as a test of my creativity skills. The 10+ screenshots? I just got this neato capture program and I... Really now, what do you think? Blubbering about it isn't going to solve anything. Why don't you go whine to your husband? Someone will be over shortly with your pink slip. Buh bye.
#1. Don't be shocked and indignant when I tell you that listening to streaming audio/video over the network is not allowed. I am not going to tell you what sites work and what don't. Buy a freakin' IPod like everyone else already if you want to listen to your music. No we will not get you a new computer because your system freezes when you listen to Yanni CDs. Serves you right for listening to that crap.
#2. Don't play the "Well, my husband works over there..." card. I am not going to bend rules for you. Apparently what he knows hasn't rubbed off at all on you. Think I give a crap? Why didn't you call him in the first place? Oh. Right. I don't blame you, he's an idiot. Shut your whiny yap already.
#3. Gee, y'know, your computer is misbehaving. No, I have no idea why it's beeping like hell. If you'd stop and shut up, AND stop trying to boot me off remote control...
#4. Sure. Blame us. Don't get upset when I point out that you shouldn't be downloading every obscure media playing program out there so you can get around the corporate firewall. I don't think 'Universal Media Player' is on our approved short-list, sorry. Yep, this certainly looks like our fault. Gosh, I don't know how we could have screwed up your PC so badly.
#5. No! You won't get into trouble at all. Certainly not. I'm just writing this note up to Corporate Security as a test of my creativity skills. The 10+ screenshots? I just got this neato capture program and I... Really now, what do you think? Blubbering about it isn't going to solve anything. Why don't you go whine to your husband? Someone will be over shortly with your pink slip. Buh bye.
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Date: 2005-04-15 06:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-15 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-15 08:11 pm (UTC)Everyone complains that they can't change the wallpaper - yet feel compelled to install every little feel-good program out there. Weatherbug. WebShots. You know the ones, as they're the bane of our existence these days. Something as usually innocent as the eBay toolbar causes most of our computers to bomb when using remote control access software.
Work PC != Home PC. Every year, these people have to take a PC/Security policy class. You'd think (maybe therein lies the problem!) they'd pause for a second and realize that Virtual Str!pper probably is a bad idea to install on a work device.
I think I want to become the CorpSecurityNazi - "No job for yoooou!"