(no subject)

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Don't you wish you could do this?.

---

Customer. Don't tell me a story. Example of story:
Cx: "Uh, do I have to have the DSL modem plugged into a jack that's wired up for the actual number we signed up with?" (Note: This sentence has been translated from jackass-ese, as the caller was a valley girl and thus a bane of my existance [of which there are many])
Paco: "Uh. Yes. Yes you do." (Must...resist...urge...to...hit...desk...with.... FACE!.. Must... Think like... William...Shatner!)
Cx: "Oh, well because my parents got this number put into this room but the other number in the other room and then ordered dsl thinking it would go on every number we've ever wanted in the world which would be like 42 and all but we have no idea what that number means because we're complete fucktards and wow I have a kitty and it's very cute..." etc etc.

God Al-effing-Mighty people. I don't need a conversation. I realize being an aspiring internet weenie, you may think the advanced guru people like myself are just overflowing with love and desire to hear EVERYTHING you have to say, especially when you start talking about shit you know nothing about, which is to say, ANYTHING. You're wrong. Because I am not an internet weenie, I am an Internet Cock. A large, veiny, John Holmesian, Look-Upon-My-Phallus-Ye-Mighty-And-Despair, Iraqi-prisoner-interrogation-tool, Cock of +5 Assholishness. And I don't like you. I'm a Cock of the first order, and my desire to help you extends barely far enough to cover what I'm paid to do. And unless you are prepared to speak breathily and softly about protocols, bitrates, low-latency connections, and framerates, you will not get the Internet Cock's attention in anything but a 'Bad Way'.

I need a bumper sticker to put on my monitor that says "I" a picture of 10 dicks orgasming "my customers".

Comments

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Cx: "Oh, well because my parents got this number put into this room but the other number in the other room and then ordered dsl thinking it would go on every number we've ever wanted in the world which would be like 42 and all but we have no idea what that number means because we're complete fucktards and wow I have a kitty and it's very cute..." etc etc.

Damn, just reading it tells me she needs to slow the f* down and shut the f* up. I only read it and it starts to make no sense over time. Must of hurt the brain listening to it.

Yuck.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

need a bumper sticker to put on my monitor that says "I" a picture of 10 dicks orgasming "my customers".

Ahh Bukkake. The sport of kings.

A lot of kings!

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

111101110011000100000000000001

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

um yeah, you need my bumper sticker which says:

Everyone has the right to be stupid- but you're abusing the privilege!

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

And to think, I could possibly be using this power to help orphans and kittens.

Muhahahaha.

[kallell.livejournal.com]

01110011011101010111001001100101011011000111100100100000011101110110010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000110010001101111001000000110001001100101011101000111010001100101011100100010000001110100011010000110010101101110001000000111010001101000011000010111010000111111

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

what, all they said was "what's your sign?"

You know how long it takes humans to say ANYTHING in binary?

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

01001001011100110010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110000100100000011010000110000101110010011001000110010001110010011010010111011001100101001000000110100101101110001000000111100101101111011101010111001000100000011100000110111101100011011010110110010101110100001000000110111101110010001000000110000101110010011001010010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010100111010101110011011101000010000001101000011000010111000001110000011110010010000001110100011011110010000001110011011001010110010100100000011011010110010100111111