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Mar. 24th, 2005 03:06 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
the-paco.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryCustomer: "Why do people make these viruses?"
Paco: "..."*thinks* Because they hate you, ma'am. With a passion your feeble faculties would never allow you to understand. An ignorant-yet-opinionated middle-american THING fresh off of AOL that can't seem to walk down the proverbial digital boulevard without smacking face first into a wrong way sign and then dialing up people like us to bitch about the sign. The only thing they like about you is the sound you make when you're angry and the digital 'klang' we hear on slashdot when they drop large things on groups of you from great heights. So they code the virus, they make the spyware, they put it on porn sites or game sites or something with a flash animation that says 'free', and your dumb-as-a-sack-of-toenail-clippings son/husband/'friend'/self downloads it. They do it to you because it's like kicking an ugly baby. And we love it.
Customer: "Hello? Why do they do that!?"
Paco: "I don't know ma'am. They have their reasons."
I realize I generalize quite a bit by assuming 75% of my customers are on the mental level of reasonably intelligent and yet very stoned chimpanzees. Unfortunately, that 75% has played their role with such vigor, such tenacity, and such unwavering devotion to being walking/talking disciples of asshattery that It sours me to humanity on a whole. I question our decision not to let Johnny Kennedy drop Marilyn's naked ass on the big red 'piss-us-off-some-russkies' button. I question it almost daily.
Who am I kidding, I was always soured on humanity. I love the job because it allows me to push myself to come up with new and creative ways to bitch.
Paco: "..."*thinks* Because they hate you, ma'am. With a passion your feeble faculties would never allow you to understand. An ignorant-yet-opinionated middle-american THING fresh off of AOL that can't seem to walk down the proverbial digital boulevard without smacking face first into a wrong way sign and then dialing up people like us to bitch about the sign. The only thing they like about you is the sound you make when you're angry and the digital 'klang' we hear on slashdot when they drop large things on groups of you from great heights. So they code the virus, they make the spyware, they put it on porn sites or game sites or something with a flash animation that says 'free', and your dumb-as-a-sack-of-toenail-clippings son/husband/'friend'/self downloads it. They do it to you because it's like kicking an ugly baby. And we love it.
Customer: "Hello? Why do they do that!?"
Paco: "I don't know ma'am. They have their reasons."
I realize I generalize quite a bit by assuming 75% of my customers are on the mental level of reasonably intelligent and yet very stoned chimpanzees. Unfortunately, that 75% has played their role with such vigor, such tenacity, and such unwavering devotion to being walking/talking disciples of asshattery that It sours me to humanity on a whole. I question our decision not to let Johnny Kennedy drop Marilyn's naked ass on the big red 'piss-us-off-some-russkies' button. I question it almost daily.
Who am I kidding, I was always soured on humanity. I love the job because it allows me to push myself to come up with new and creative ways to bitch.
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