Maximum call times - the way it SHOULD be.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Ever wonder why half of us are forced to kowtow to average or maximum call times when it's the illiterate, functionally lobotomized waste of skin on the other end of the line that's blowing out the stats?

If call times are so bloody important, why aren't they imposed on the frickin' callers?

"Welcome to IT Support. You have sixty seconds to provide your userID and a clear, concise reason for calling. If you are unable to manage this, your account will be bumped to a higher monthly charge rate or terminated at our discretion."

Comments

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

I love you, and I want to buy you several large drinks when next you're in Sydney.

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

That'll mean Porky Pig can never call in.

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
call times have ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TECH SUPPORT PERSON ANSWERING THE CALL!!!!!

average call times are directly proportional to the average STOOOPIT index of local luser base

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Correction. Call times have everything to do with how much the sodding client is willing to pay the person actually doing the job.

And that's the ONE thing I hate about my job. It's not TRULY tech support until they stop worrying about how many times we say the opening schpeil and start worrying that we fix the luser's problems.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Sydney, eh? *plots fiendish-type plotting*

Although seeing as how my knowledge of alcoholic drinks extends to "I had one once", I'm afraid you'll have to guide me on what's worth drinking and what's cat piss.

Yes, yes, I know. A boi of thirty-plus, and never yet a hangover. I am so innocent and naive, etc etc. Ahem.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Man you are so often right and this time is no exception.

If call times are so bloody important, why aren't they imposed on the frickin' callers?

That is the perfect way out of any argument with a supervisor re: call times.

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

TRUE!!!!

so we have to mod the forumula

for all values of "price of call" > 0 :
average call time = (price of call) * (luser stupid index)

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I think that's why I hate my job and am activly searching elsewhere. We have to go through this policy of asking certain questions to access the account and it takes about a minute, or two depending if the customer has to blab his problem to me already. The company itself wants the calls to be quick, and fixed. Now how can I do that, when I've already wasted a minute or two at the beginning? They take call time to seriously there....so I totally agree with this statement.

:)

[110billion.livejournal.com]

I too, will buy drinks at this arrival in Sydney. Best post ever.

[kallell.livejournal.com]

Regional Phone company

Support desk WITH call times monitored Tons of scripts required (many by law) AND a sales objective

If you have a caring bone in your body you cant survive because when the last 8 people are worried about their commision failed to help them, they heard every pitch and wont stop screaming. its all justified and your caller satisfaction may be highest in the center, but you just didnt reach your impossible sales goal

BASTARDS

k im better now