Dear customer

[taleya.livejournal.com]

We offer a Spam Reporting function via our abuse mailbox.

This is a courtesy service we offer to customers that are too fucking dumb to work out how to use SpamCop. In fact, most of you are too fucking dumb to work out how to include full headers, after we have sent you the instructions no less than fifteen fucking times (true!)

Now, dear customer who has emailed me tonight...

I appreciate the fact that you send full headers
I appreciate the fact that you format it correctly
I appreciate the fact that you are taking the time to help us run an abuse-free network.

I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE FUCKING TIME TO SEND ME EVERY GODDAMN PIECE OF SPAM YOU HAVE RECEIVED SINCE 1998.

What the fuck do you think "Emails older than three days cannot be accepted" MEANS?

Comments

[zig-mover.livejournal.com]

Our only solution for spam is to "tell them to send it to support@ and we'll take a look at it."

One day I talked to a bunch of people whose accounts got suspended because they were sending out too much email.

It ended up being all the people who were told to forward their spam to the support box, and sent every single piece of spam they were ever sent.

WITHOUT headers.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I gotta deal with that shit too.


Sometimes I'll come in to find about 60 submissions from the one customer.

I don't do them, I just send him an email saying that I've done them.

[nephil.livejournal.com]

What kind of person actually KEEPS all the spam they've recieved over the past six years, anyways?

[boredevilperson.livejournal.com]

You just said what I was gonna say.

I can understand keeping every bit of mail you received. LEGITIMATE MAIL Do you really need to save 69 copies of "Enlarge your dick through Yoga"

[taleya.livejournal.com]

GMAIL!

Never throw out another email again!


sorry, that just popped into my head when I read your reply :P

[boredevilperson.livejournal.com]

A potential ad for GMail.

"Bah! Dick enlargement I don't need this"

*Five months later*

"Oh no! My new girlfriend just told me I don't measure up!!! Oh wait it's no big deal, I never throw any of my e-mail away" *types search for dick enlargement into gmail search*

Eh lame but that's what popped into my head :-)

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Wait, you can enlarge your dick through Yoga?

wtf happened to my fiance's yoga tapes??!!one!?!?forwardslash/??

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

Spamcop itself sucks bigtime. What's the point of sending "This is spam please remove user from list" when they put the recepient as X?

Sure buddy I'll delete X of the list.


/The tired ISP support Tech.