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Aug. 13th, 2004 05:31 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jagwire.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryIn the spirit of this post, I've decided to write out my own rules for our field techs that call me all day every day...
10 Rules for calling Logistics
10. When calling in, I will ask for your security code. You know I'm going to. So when I do, don't say "Ah, f***, what is it?" You're supposed to tell me, and until you do, you ain't getting shit.
9. When you are on the phone to me, do not ask me to "Hang on a sec" while you answer your mobile phone, and hold a conversation in the background. I don't give a shit if it's your mum and she's hanging one-handed from a cliff. Sort out your personal crap on your own time. I have a job to do.
8. I don't care how long you've been working for the company, I'm not your bitch. Without me, you can't do your job. So you're my bitch. And yes, I will remind you of this fact if I need to.
7. When I refuse to release a part to you that another company is paying us to hold in stock, yes, it is indeed tough shit, and nothing you can say will change that.
6. I don't want to hear about the day you've had. I don't care how painful it is to do your job. Your misery pales in comparison to mine.
5. I'm not intimidated by you. I'm a 6'1, 118kg ex-linesman, ex-bouncer with extensive and varied martial arts experience. I am a mad Hellraiser fan with a collection of power tools, a vivid imagination and a strong stomach. Try me.
4. I do my job strictly without the boundaries of my job description. I will not break the rules for you. No, I won't even bend them. I don't care whether you like this or not.
3. I have heard any and all of the jokes you might care to share with me. Don't waste my time. Order your part and get lost, so I can go back to looking up amusing photos of ugly people on the internet.
2. Yes, I know the courier company are morons. Yes, I know the job could be done better by a bunch of blind, epileptic monkeys. You are preaching to the choir.
1. My manager thinks the sun shines out of my arse. If you have a problem with any of the above rules, speak to him, and see how far you get. Who's my bitch? I win.
10 Rules for calling Logistics
10. When calling in, I will ask for your security code. You know I'm going to. So when I do, don't say "Ah, f***, what is it?" You're supposed to tell me, and until you do, you ain't getting shit.
9. When you are on the phone to me, do not ask me to "Hang on a sec" while you answer your mobile phone, and hold a conversation in the background. I don't give a shit if it's your mum and she's hanging one-handed from a cliff. Sort out your personal crap on your own time. I have a job to do.
8. I don't care how long you've been working for the company, I'm not your bitch. Without me, you can't do your job. So you're my bitch. And yes, I will remind you of this fact if I need to.
7. When I refuse to release a part to you that another company is paying us to hold in stock, yes, it is indeed tough shit, and nothing you can say will change that.
6. I don't want to hear about the day you've had. I don't care how painful it is to do your job. Your misery pales in comparison to mine.
5. I'm not intimidated by you. I'm a 6'1, 118kg ex-linesman, ex-bouncer with extensive and varied martial arts experience. I am a mad Hellraiser fan with a collection of power tools, a vivid imagination and a strong stomach. Try me.
4. I do my job strictly without the boundaries of my job description. I will not break the rules for you. No, I won't even bend them. I don't care whether you like this or not.
3. I have heard any and all of the jokes you might care to share with me. Don't waste my time. Order your part and get lost, so I can go back to looking up amusing photos of ugly people on the internet.
2. Yes, I know the courier company are morons. Yes, I know the job could be done better by a bunch of blind, epileptic monkeys. You are preaching to the choir.
1. My manager thinks the sun shines out of my arse. If you have a problem with any of the above rules, speak to him, and see how far you get. Who's my bitch? I win.
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Date: 2004-08-13 05:27 am (UTC)8. I don't care how long you've been working for the company, I'm not your bitch. Without me, you can't do your job. So you're my bitch. And yes, I will remind you of this fact if I need to.
This amount of power is wonderful, isn't it? Several of the fucktwits I work with somettimes pull this card. In fact, when I first started it was a regular occurance. That is until I wore my "I read your email" shirt (fucking *heart* thingeek).
Bloody users.