X-Posted to techsupporthell

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm new here, but I am a grizzled veteran of many years of call-centre-based customer service, and about 12 months tech support in one form or another, so don't feel like you need to go easy on me. I work in the same place as twitchfetish.

Earlier this year, I changed roles slightly at work, so no longer am I dealing with the stupid customers that twitchfetish suffers.

Instead, I am now a Logistics Coordinator, more commonly referred to as a Parts Monkey.

What this means, is I liaise (chat on the phone) with our Site Service Representatives (field technicians) and ship them the parts they need to complete jobs at customers' sites.

These guys and girls are ostensibly some of the absolute best field technicians in the world, and this I do not doubt. However, their interpersonal skills, and common sense leave much to be desired.

Here is a typical conversation, kinda long, but bear with it:




Me: Logistics, Joe speaking.

Tech: ... (loud humming noise in the background)

Me: LOGISTICS! JOE SPEAKING!

Tech: ... (loud humming continues)

Me: If you don't say something lickety-split, I'm hanging up!

Tech: Oh. Hi?

Me: Hi. Do you want to order parts or what?

Tech: Um. Is this the logistics line?

Me: What number did you dial?

Tech: The logistics number?

Me: Then you are probably speaking to a logistics guy. Do you want a part or not?

Tech: Uh. Yeah I spose so. Sorry, I'm in the server room and can barely hear you.

Me: *bangs head on desk, wondering why he didn't go outside to make the call* What is your security code?

Tech: Um... Hang on... I have it here somewhere... uhhhhhh... shit... hang on... I just had it last week... uhh...

Me: You DO know you are supposed to have this stuff ready when you call, right?

Tech: Yeah. Um... hang on... okay... no, that's last month's... um, okay, got it *reads code*

Me: *teeth grinding* Your serial number?

Tech: *supplies serial number*

Me: The call reference?

Tech: Um... Hang on... I have it here somewhere... uhhhhhh... shit... hang on...

Me: *tries to hang self with mouse cord*

Tech: *reads call ref*

Me: The part number you need?

Tech: Can you look it up for me?

Me: No.

Tech: Oh okay, fine *reads part number*

Me: Sorry, we have none of that part in stock. Would you like an urgent backorder?

Tech: What do you mean we don't have any?

Me: We don't have any.

Tech: None?

Me: None.

Tech: So none in the country?

Me: That's right.

Tech: None at all?

Me: Sorry.

Tech: So there's none of these parts in any of the other states?

Me: No.

Tech: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. We have none of these parts at all in the country, because if we did, I would tell you and order it for you, so we didn't have to go through this bullshit every goddamn time you call!

Tech: Sorry, could you repeat that? I'm in the server room and it's really noisy...



And on it goes...

Comments

okay maybe not so funny.

[joeshamo.livejournal.com]

the funny thing is i can imagine any other person i fucking know on the other end of the phone.

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Yeah... it's kinda funny in the same way that Hitler was funny, i.e: not at all.

*sigh*

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[joeshamo.livejournal.com]

because we dont know how else to make money sitting at computers all day?

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, good point.

Too many years of sitting in front of a computer all day has rendered my body useless for money-making schemes that involve a webcam, a bunch of bananas, and a goat.

Although...

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[joeshamo.livejournal.com]

i keep saying i'm gunna make a porn site...i dont know why i havent. jesus i need to stop being lazy.

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

It's where the money is at... I have a camera, now all I need are some willing models :þ

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[joeshamo.livejournal.com]

yea...anyway, i could probibly find someone to do me on film.

Re: okay maybe not so funny.

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but that's easy if you're a chick ;)

[kyndig.livejournal.com]

hrm.... monthly security code, field techs that are on crack...the call reference wouldn't also be called a CAD # would it? :)

[taiirei.livejournal.com]

I would have hung up at the first lot of humming noises...

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

lj cut?

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

Actually, no it's not... hehehehe, looks like I'm not alone...

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

;)