techrecovery | May. 30th, 2015

(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)

Change my job-title to, "Knight Errant, Keeper of the Bits, Guardian of the Unwary, and Defender against the Internet Hordes".
... "Claims of accuracy are not a compelling argument. You're not allowed a better job title than I have."
Update the GECOS field for my user account to a value other than that held by HR.
To not circumvent this restriction by updating testing accounts instead.
To also not update the GECOS field for other users contrary to User Administration policy. Take the suffix "(Killjoy)" off my account at once.
... "No, you not allowed ask the head of User Administration for special permission. She'll say yes."
The University's Graduation ceremonies should not be referred to as the "Semi-Annual Batman Cosplay Convention."
... "moreover, you will only be admitted if wearing the traditional formal robes. Your sloppy clown make-up and purple jacket is completely inappropriate."
You are not to invent your own hazard glyph that asserts "THIS OBJECT IS COMPLETELY HARMLESS".
... particularly if it has a post-it added that adds, "... unless provoked."
No, the Vice-Chancellor is not a Cylon.
You are not empowered to set condition one throughout the department.
The departmental fire coordinator is responsible for managing the building's fire wardens, not for calling in airstrikes on targets of interest. Send that radio equipment back.