Beer me a vodka, Captain.

[tanamiya.livejournal.com]

Customer: So here's my laptop. The IT department at my daughter's university says it has a bad hard drive. It's only three months old. What can you do for me?
Me: Okay, you've got a couple of options. We can send it to the manufacturer for you. The last one of these I sent out took about six weeks, though, so it's not really a good idea...
Cx: Yikes! Okay, what's the other option?
Me: Well, you could get in touch with the manufacturer directly. Cut [retail computer store] out as the middle-man. I've heard their turn-around times are excellent, usually within 3 to 5 days.
Cx: Well, I don't want to do that.
Me: Okay... I'll check your laptop in, and we'll send it out for you.
Cx: Oh, but I can't be without it for six weeks. My daughter uses it for university!
Me: Okay... Then your best bet is to call the manufacturer direct--
Cx: I don't want to do that either! I paid $1,300 for this laptop, and an extended warranty, and I want you to give me a brand new one!
Me: I'm afraid I can't do that--
Cx: Lemme tell you something. This isn't how you do business. I run a liquor store, and if someone comes to me with a broken bottle, I give them a new one.
Me: I'm afraid a bottle of beer isn't like a laptop, sir. How much does a beer bottle cost?
Cx: It doesn't matter! I want a new laptop!

I can't authorize anything like that, of course. I call the manager over, who tells the customer the exact same thing. He eventually allows us to check it in and diagnose his issue, adding that he wants it back on Sunday, no matter what. I shrug, sigh, and proceed to take his information.

I can only wish laptops were like liquor. =(