No, Really.

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

A conversation I just had:
Me: Tech at a smallish independent repair shop
D: Complete dipshit. To wit:

/ringing
Me: This is $SHOP, Raven speaking. Can I help you?
D: Do you fix Macs?
Me: Yep. What seems to be the problem?
D: Really?
Me: Yes, we do fix Macs. What problems are you having?
D: So you really fix Macs? Really?
Me: [speaking very clearly] Yes, ma'am, we do.
D: 'Cause you're not an Apple store - you really fix Macs? All Macs?
Me: Yes, we really do. In fact, I'm the one that would be fixing your computer, and I'm fully Apple-certified. If you can tell me the problem...
D: [interrupting] Why don't you work for Apple, then?
Me: ...  Ma'am, if you'd like to bring your computer in here, I can fix it for you. Otherwise, I'm not sure I can help you. Have a nice day. [click]

Errrmm... no, I was just screwing with you. I don't fix Macs at all. In fact, what's a Mac? [eye roll] 

EDIT: Sorry, stupid client.