What do you REALLY want me to do?

[phrogg.livejournal.com]

I spent over half an hour with a customer today trying to get him to restart his modem. Of that time, i spent maybe 5 minutes talking. The rest was spent with him bickering with his wife over what i really wanted him to do.
"He wants me to power-cycle the modem"
"No, what he meant was to restart the computer."
"You think? I was just going to unplug the router..."
"No, you need to turn off the computer!"
"I'm restarting the router, that's what he wanted me to do!"

(breaking in)"Sir? The little box that says "RCA" on the front of it, has about five lights on the front? That's what i need you to turn off."

"What's he saying?"
"He wants me to unplug the box."
"This blue one that says Linksystem on it?"
"No, i think he means the computer."
"That's what i said before, but you said no! You sure he doesn't mean the Linksystems box?"
"Yes, he said the box, this is the box."
*Windows XP shutdown music*
me: *Adds percussion to the Windows shutdown music, mashing my face into the desk*

And neither of the two were right during the entire conversation. Once i finally convinced him to send his wife to another room, and baby-talked him through it, within a minute he was back up and running.

(no subject)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Multiple exclamation marks and question marks should be instant grounds for ticket closure without action, or termination of livechat sessions.

Yay or nay?

(no subject)

[kyidyl.livejournal.com]

Things like this amuse me...

User in email: I've tried *insert every variation of his full name possible* as my username and it doesn't work, ZOMGELEVENTLY, whut nooooow?
Me: Wrong username. Can't send sensitive info via email. Talk to your admin.

And, prompted by seeing how many people are in the DC area in that one post. I just moved here (working in Elk Ridge, live in Laurel.), what do you guys do for geek-type fun? I'll have all the photo ops and museums I can handle, but I'd like to get to know some of the gamer/D&D/renn-faire/comic types in the area. =D

(I'll edit out that last part if it's not appropriate. :)

Tonight's Episode: Sales people! or The Saga of Blackberry

[azleaneo.livejournal.com]

So we are porting a buncha blackberries (got a 'free' BES in the deal to switch too) Some have gone smooth, some have required me to hang up on the port reps. Tech support has been awesome, but when Company A hasn't given Company B the correct account info the port doesn't go smooth and we have to call corporate port department who are snobs and talk to us like everything is our fault. (Rep told my boss that boss gave rep wrong PIN, rep had misheard a number and snapped at my boss like it was boss's fault.)

The one that I hung up on personally was talking down to me. I was trying to give her the correct account info, like they had called and requested, and she kept telling me that the port won't complete until later that afternoon. Finally, she told me that she *had* the new account information (my boss was handling things by email while I was making the call) and that I would have to wait for the port to complete. So I was snappy at her and said, so you have the information that I've been trying to give you for 10 minutes, and I have to wait for the port? She said yes and I just hung up.

Well, the star of today, was a super special offsite sales person who we just ported a new Company B Blackberry this morning. I did two ports this morning, both went smooth and happy. Got them in an overnight shipping box and sent them to their respective junkies. Not twenty minutes later I get a call.

Recp: I have Sales Lady on the phone for you!
Me: Kk, put her through. *tranfer* Hi SL, your new blackberry is on its way you should be getting it tomorrow! The port went smoothly.
SL: Oh. (disapointed sound?) Well, that's all good, but I was calling because my old (Company A) blackberry isn't working anymore.
Me: (Internalized cry of despair) SL, that's because we ported your phone to the new blackberry and it turns the old one off.
SL: Oh. So this one doesn't work anymore?
Me: No, you will get your new one tomorrow.
End call after polite get the hell off my phone.

Me faking panic: Hey boss, SL just called and said her old blackberry isn't working!
Boss: Ugh, I emailed her twice before the port to explain everything.

Sales people drive me nuts with their lack of intellegence and ability to retain information. People actually want to do business with my company after talking to these people?
Hopefully everything goes smooth with the last few ports we have to do. The Owner of the company doesn't want to go a whole day without his BB, and the look on his face was priceless when he asked how long it would take. I said, if it goes smooth, a couple of hours, if it goes like SalesGuy, it will take a couple days. Owner: -.-

Ouch

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

My brain.

I went to the local computer store to pick up a spare backup tape for a client. When I walked in the door I overheard the clerk's friend asking him, "Aren't solid state drives the ones that go fifteen thousand rpm?"

Those words. I don't think you know what they mean.

*incoherent scream*

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

I have been beating my head against a wall trying to get the Backup Exec CPS agent on this one server running. It simply will not start up. I have uninstalled and reinstalled multiple times. I finally found an article on Symantec's site that listed an uninstall process as well as some registry key entries to remove before reinstall that should correct my problem.

Except I got distracted right as I started the uninstall and instead of uninstalling the Backup Exec CPS agent, I just uninstalled Backup Exec 11.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: The computer gods have smiled upon me and the reinstall went smoothly over terminal services after hours. The client won't even know backup exec was ever down.

ETA2: Except of course if they actually log on to the server, open up Backup Exec, and see that there is very little history of backup jobs.
Not very likely. Anyone have some good BS reasons for a disappearing job history list? XD