Phrases you hate hearing at work.

[toxico.livejournal.com]

We've all got 'em: those phrases that just rub you the wrong way no matter whose mouth/email/ass they are coming out of. Here are some of my least favorite:

"Please advise."
"Work stoppage."
"I don't know a whole lot about computers..."
"I don't know, it's just not working..."
"Your ex wife is on the phone."
"It worked before."

Anyone else have things they see or hear often that make the hairs on the backs of their neck stand up?

Good one from the new job

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

So, at the start of June I left $big_outsourcing_company and moved over to $startup_clustered_network_storage_company. Starting over as Tier 1 tech support (from Laptop Depot Incident Manager), but the 12% increase in pay soothed any angst I had over taking a demotion

ANYWAYS.... here goes
ME: Myself
Luser: Caller


ME: Thank you for calling $startup_clustered_network_storage_company, this is OMG, can I have your name please?
Luser: Yeah, this is Luser McLuser
ME: OK, Luser. What company are you with?
Luser: $Brand_new_customer
ME: And is this for a new issue, or an existing case:
Luser: Well, it's kind of a new issue on an old problem
ME (bringing up customer history): OK, how can I help you?
Luser: Yeah, we were supposed to have an SE (editor's note: Sales Engineer) and the RM (editor's note: Regional Manager) come in today to work on this problem, but all we got was one guy who is a printer tech, and I was wondering if the other stuff was still going to happen?


Printer tech? WTF? I see two open cases, and the account is two months old....

ME: OK, what's the guy's name that is onsite?
Luser: Hang on, let me ask....
Luser: It's $FE and he's wearing a Toshiba shirt
ME: And he says $startup_clustered_network_storage_company sent him?
Luser: yeah.
ME: OK, lemme put you on hold to make some calls.
(much dialing and talking to my boss occurs. Lots of WTF is expressed. Regional Technical Manager isn't available, regional SE hasn't ever heard of this client and is in the wrong state for an onsite)

ME: OK, well, I can't get ahold of the RTM and the SE says he wasn't planning on coming out today. Looking at your history, you have two open cases. What was this visit about the permissions on the clustered storage, or the storage cluster going down?
Luser: Wait, who is this?
ME: this is $startup_clustered_network_storage_company
Luser: Shit. I meant to call Toshiba Support. I'm really sorry...

remember the WSJ article...?

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

This one - http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1450953.html - ?

I emailed the author to say " If you were being strictly accurate, you should have sub-titled it
"Ten sure ways to get yourself fired with extreme prejudice"."


.. she emailed me back...

**********************************************************************
Hi goose_entity,
Thanks for the candid feedback. As it turns out, I think there might be room for a follow-up story on things IT departments wish employees knew. Want to take a stab at offering some thoughts on this? I'm looking for specific tips - along the lines of the last story - highlighting what people can do to keep themselves and their companies secure and prevent legal and regulatory trouble. I would especially welcome any horror stories you can offer that illustrate why these tips are important.
Along with the note, can you confirm your full name, your location, the full name of your firm and your title there?
Let me know what you think, and thanks, in advance,
V
**********************************************************************


...!!!

Wow, Clue is still in the WSJ!


EDIT TO ADD
Another reply from V -
I appreciate it! To be clear, I'm looking for specific helpful tips
along the lines of the last story - simple things employees can do to
keep themselves and their companies safe, rather than general
information about IT security. Thanks very much, V
************************************

So, anyone got anything they would like to share? If you leave a comment here I will treat your comment as anonymous when sending it on, unless you say otherwise.