This actually happened

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

Conversation snippet:

Me: "Sir, I [went to our co-location building, located your server in our cabinet farm, and] consoled into your Windows Server 2003 1U server just as you asked me to, and actually verified the files you were copying from the CD-ROM drive weren't copying across."
Cust: "Okay, so why weren't they?"
Me: "The CD-ROM drive was open."
Cust: "I tried closing it by remote, but Windows told me it couldn't find the CD!"
Me: "The machine was right in this case, sir."
Cust: "Huh? Then where the hell did my Windows source CD go?!?"
Me: "Funny thing that, I actually found it on the floor of the cabinet against the door: it fell on my boots when I opened it."
Cust: "Wha.....? Er, well, can you just put the CD back in?"
Me: "I did, however it looks badly scratched from its fall, it keeps bringing up CRC errors when I tried to access it before I contacted you."
Cust: "*swearing* Then how the hell did a CD just jump out of an ejected CD-ROM tray???"
Me: "Um, I also noticed you racked your server upside-down. Suffice to say, sir, when the CD tray ejected, gravity came into force."

And they wonder why I come back from co-lo visits in a good mood.

SDSL woes...

[jarad.livejournal.com]

On one hand, I can understand this customer - he's had two faults within two weeks of a brand new installation of SDSL. However, he has (a) neglected to fill in the order forms and then tried to blame us when his line isn't up and running and (b) decided that a leased line was too expensive.

So he phones up about the second fault, and pretty much goes ballistic at my coworker as the diagnostics have come back with the same fault that was supposed to be fixed the first time. The customer side is not verbatim, but close.

C = Customer, R = Coworker.

C: This isn't good enough.
R: I'm sorry sir, if you can just bear with me a moment, I'm trying to get through to (telecoms company that services the lines).
C: No really, this isn't good enough. Our contract is with you, not (telecoms company), I want someone out here right now or else.
R: I'm sorry again sir, but we have procedures to follow. We have to run the diagnostics, and then when a fault is detected we can request an engineer. This will go into a queue.
C: This is just isn't goddamned good enough. We'll take legal action for breach of contract. We pay you for this service and you aren't delivering it.
R: The contract that you signed specifies that there is a 20 hour SLA. You have only reported a fault within the last 30 mins, so it could still take another 18 hours to fix it, and we would not be in breach of contract.
C: That's a load of ( poop )

, even if it's 20 hours you should have it fixed in two. This isn't good enough.
R: *head explodes through sheer stupidity of someone who can't grasp that we cannot physically be anywhere in the country and fix something within 2 hours* If you just hold for a moment and I'll pass you onto a supervisor.

I'm so sick of people buying SDSL/ADSL lines and thinking that it's a replacement for a leased line.