Dear $EndUser

[the-elfster.livejournal.com]

...when you send me an Email direct to try and fix an issue on your workstation, it isn't logged into the system. Furthermore, I'm a Tier II technician, my service requests must come directly from Tier I, along with their documentation of what steps they've taken. Its called documentation you fecking moron, furthermore, its the rules *I* have to play by to get work taken care of. Don't repeatedly whine at me in Email when I direct you to call Tier I Help Desk and start the process there. Furthermore, don't whine at the Tier I folks about how "unhelpful" I've been in the resolution of a case you haven't even opened yet. Yes, my supervisor was routed said ticket. Yes, my supervisor called me long distance here in Dallas from Austin to speak to me about the issue. Yes, your "distress" was duly noted. One thing you didn't count on with your little bitchfest: my supervisor now has all the Emails that have transpired between you and I -- including the ones repeatedly noting that you needed to contact the Tier I Help Desk to begin the process of troubleshooting. (checking watch) In about ten minutes, your supervisor will have the same Emails, along with an Email from my supervisor explaining why Remote (L)users cannot start the process of troubleshooting via a direct Email to a Tier II technician. Hope your ass doesn't hurt too much later...

i am not a secretary

[thecolorblue.livejournal.com]

Me: "thank you for calling [my company]. are you calling for technical support?"

Fucktard: "uh, no, i'm calling to speak with your ceo/cfo/my friend named X/some guy in another department."

I AM NOT A SECRETARY. furthermore, we HAVE a directory. if you can dial our freakin number, you can get to the directory, where you can *gasp* type in the first 4 letters of the person's last name. but nooooo...that's too hard for you! you want someone in tech support to transfer you! or maybe you don't know the person's last name? then you probably shouldn't be calling them because you're probably trying to spam them with a survery/advertising/sales.

and what was that? you want me to transfer you to our CEO? do you call microsoft tech support and ask to speak with bill gates? seriously, people, get a clue. tech support. TECH SUPPORT /= receptionist!

::puts on the BOFH hat::

[jecook]

Direct from the work order log. names changed to prevent me from losing my job. I just got a raise, and it would suck to lose that and more...

She has been very naughty, and she is losing her Local Administrator privledges, which I usually confer because frankly, I'm the odd duck who trusts their users to not install crap on their machines. Obviously, this gets abused.. ::sigh::


---
While reclaiming power adapter that was loaned out, I discovered the [luser] had non-company approved software installed on her computer, including Incredimail. This is not only NON-supported software, but I have removed it in the past from her machine and requested to her that she not use it, as there is not easy export method for it. Noticed unusual software on machine, which prompted me to kick it off the network. I then removed the system from her desk and brought it to my office for decomtamination, and forced re-building of a non-local Administrator profile.

Spyware found on system:

Powerscan (http://vil.nai.com/vil/content/v_124770.htm) (It ran on Startup when I logged in local Administrator to remove the rest of the Non approved software from the machine, and it was claiming to remove porn from the machine. I immediately powereed the system down and re-started from BartPE)
ISTBar (http://www.doxdesk.com/parasite/ISTbar.html , probably bundled with above, as the above uses this program to search your computer...)
Internet Optimizer (http://www3.ca.com/securityadvisor/pest/pest.aspx?id=453076206)
NAVexcel (http://www.doxdesk.com/parasite/NavExcel.html)
YourSiteBar (http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/adware.yoursitebar.html)
SideFind (http://www3.ca.com/securityadvisor/pest/pest.aspx?id=453088285)

Along with many, many Tracking Cookies.

Running Mcafee scan. Will transfer profile and re-create user as Power User only in a new profile after scan is finished.
--

Also note: this luser is one of our HR people, so you _know_ there's sensitive information on the damn machine....

Somebody pass the cluebat, please.

[aylinn.livejournal.com]

Ticket comes in. User is receiving some OTHER user's e-mail. so she claims.

Contact mail engineer. user's id is unique. backwards address but unique. have user forward me the e-mail.

user is lastname+letter@popserver.domain.***
mail was addressed to lastname@domain.***
- obviously a case where the system matched the incoming e-mail as best it could & delivered. (It turns out, BTW, that user has received TWO e-mails like this so obviously there is a problem in the sender's address book.)

Just on a lark I call engineering back & have them check for lastname as possible username combination. Not found.

Which leaves me with one option. Namely to contact the person who SENT the e-mail and ask for clarification. at a phone number conveniently listed in the e-mail's signature.

I just suggested to the user that she do that. Why she didn't try that at FIRST without calling the helpdesk... ARGGGGGGGG?

*headdesk*