(no subject)

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Dear angry customer,

Everytime you second-guess what I'm telling you, I get a little ruder. You might have noticed I didn't start your call off with a cheery hello how can I help you. This is because I have almost no fuck to give. I'm all fucked out.

I will help you though, I just won't help you in the way you think you need to be helped. Mechanics don't hold your hand and traipse through a magical mystery land, explaining carburettors to you in a high sing-song voice. Similarly, I'm just going to solve your problem, without making a song and dance about it.

I don't care that you think the connection is corrupt. I don't care that you received a suspicious email. I certainly don't care that your frendwhonoesalotaboutcompuders thinks that it is something to do with a proxy. No, really, its not the proxy. ...Please don't say proxy again or I will be forced to explain it to you.

The problem is that your dial-in number is incorrect. No, this is not a result of changes we have made without telling you, this is a result of you changing your account type. There really isn't any blame to apportion, you just need to change one little setting.

Your final line "Well if it was so simple why didn't you just say so? I don't see why you have to be so rude about it" is maddening and amusing. Maddening because I did say so, maybe twelve times before I actually started being rude. Amusing because I could not care less about "how you feel" about the situation. I am not here to cure your general emotional instability. I am not your psychologist and quite frankly, you couldn't pay me enough to care about you.

I solve problems. One of your problems is now solved. Psychotherapy may assist you with the others.

That is all.

(no subject)

[pixeltwist.livejournal.com]

I know I don't post often, but I don't do much support now that I'm a supervisor. I took an escilation today and yeah...

So, this guy wants to sue [certain ISP that sounds like naughty bits (why did I even bother saying that...] because we strip outgoing emails with EXEs attached.

Um, yeah. Don't most places do that?

Why can't he just zip it or change the extention, you ask?

Because blah blah blah blah blah, that's why.

When I told him it's an obvious security measure. EXEs can be dangerous. However, he figures since it's easy enough for anyone to just send a virus in anything that we should make an exception for him and stop stripping his mail of EXE attachments. He also said that other ISPs don't do such a thing.

So, now I'm kinda' curious... do other ISPs let that go?

Tech Joke

[dysan27.livejournal.com]

Out the 10Base-T, off the bridge, round the token-ring, past the firewall,
through the router, down the T1, over the leased line ... nothing but Net.

Figured I share this with people who would get it, just to break up the constant flow of idiots.

*scrunch* *bin*

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

After more than a week off work coughing my lungs out, I return to work doped to the gills with pills and potions. One of the additions to my desk in this time has been a piece of paper, which I pick up and peer at.

( 'All calls to and from other helpdesks are to be logged on this bit of paper from now on.' )

Now taking bets on how many times this scenario will be repeated before the drone throws a tantrum.