** RELAY CALLS ** RANT!

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Dearest customer,

When you're on a relay call with me I expect you to at least be polite. With all my customers actually. You are calling me for help, and if you offer me kindness, then I will be the same way (you may not hear it in my tone, but I'm trying my best). You've explained to me that you are a videophone installer. I understand that, you don't need to fucking repeat yourself 8 times. I understand that you have a customer in front of you who is deaf, and doesn't speak english. Your doing sign language to him. I find that hard to believe, but whatever...I'll go with it. You have a router for your video phone. Who cares, I won't support it if it doesn't work. Can we bypass it? We can? Great! Let's do that. Yes, you've already reset your modem. Fucking do it again. Don't question me. You refuse to reset your modem? Fine, I'll fucking do it for you. Oh, what's that your video phone works again? What a fucking surprise. It's your router. What? You think it's the modem NAT's table. Hah! Don't make me laugh. You saw it working without the router you fucking Einstein, did it not occur to you that maybe your connection is fine and your router as fault??? Don't say it's your upload speed. Your upload speed is dammed near flawless. I wish I had that upload speed! Don't give me a bullshit excuse that you've installed 300 videophones, and this Toshiba modem is broken. It's not, and you know it. You know, if this wasn't a relay call i'd be ripping into your ass, but since you took the pussy way of calling me, and figured you are installing service for a person who can't speak english and deaf...you might use the relay service. What? You can sign and type at the same time? You know, I think it would be easier for you to fucking talk on the phone and sign, keeping your hands free you jackass.

You know, who I feel for the most...the person you are installing for. Since you are hellbent not admitting your stupid fucking failure, and wanting to schedule a trouble call (which you don't fucking need) this customer won't be able to get a tech out until July 5th. Most likely, my tech will take the router out of the fucking picture. Voila' instant video phone.

Go fuck yourself customer. Perhaps you should learn how to configure a router. Ass.

Sincerely,
Friendly Tech Support Man

/rant

Dear Customers,

[200iso.livejournal.com]

Please don't make tech jokes.

cust: ...what about oc3? do you have any plans for rolling out oc3 soon?
me: no sir, definately not [i work for a residental cable isp]
cust: ...just kidding. that was a joke.