Walkups BE GONE!

[martiandooz.livejournal.com]

Hey everyone! Level 2 Deskside slave here...

Dear walkup,

Thank you for coming up to me on my lunch hour and bothering me and informing me of your urgent need for a drive mapping on 4 PCs in the training room. I took great pleasure in asking you for your ticket number and watching the surprised look on your face. Yes, yes, yes, I realize that your training session is about to start and you NEEEEEEED this done - all the more reason to scurry back to your desk, call the Helpdesk and have a ticket created as soon as possible. Once that's done, one of our friendly techs will be down to take care of your request.

buh bye.

Well, maybe the FARIES fixed it in the NIGHT!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Call from a corporate user: "PC is broken, send an engineer out!"

Me: "And you think this because...?"

User: "Someone else said they were having a problem with it."

Me: "Which was...?"

User: "They didn't say."

Me: "Do you have the PC there in front of you?"

User: "Yes."

Me: "Could you read the error off the screen to me?"

User: "What, so I have to plug it in again and switch it on?"

Me: "...yes. Because without any kind of indication that there is a problem of any kind whatsoever, the PC technician team will merely sneer and send this job back to my manager. So I'm going to need an error message, a fault listing, a hardware output code or something of that nature. Otherwise, I'm assuming it's working fine and little computer fairies flew in and fixed it in the middle of the night, chanting little pixie songs all the while. Here's a ticket number, feel free to call back if the computer displays an error. Bye."

English please?

[methedras.livejournal.com]

We just received this email from our Customer Service department :

Hi Guys

I have received a request from the above account to cancel the account

Customer is aware of fees and charges that will imply on the ancaltion of the broadband contact

Many thanks

Customer Service Rep



After a brief moment of thinking "what the fuck is an 'ancaltion'?", we realised that he meant cancellation. That just isn't forgiveable, even as a once off.

The quality of front line reps in customer service being hired by large companies is just dropping lower and lower. No wonder they love sending jobs to India.