*headdesk headdesk headdesk*

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

From a call a few days ago:

Us: "Technical support, this is lordstorm."
Them: "Um yeah, I can't get into the Internet."
Us: "Okay, are there any error messages given?"
Them: "Er, yes: press eff-one to continue."
Us: *blink* "Er, what Windows program were you using that gave you that message?"
Them: "Windows won't let me connect! It's all a black screen!"
Us: *pennydrop* "Does the entire message say, 'Keyboard error: press F1 to continue'?"
Them: "Yes, but I can't find the F1 button!"
Us: "Do you have a keyboard plugged into the back of your machine?"
Them: "No....should I?"

They were looking for an F1 button on the front of the computer case.

Me go gouge out eyes now.

Grr.

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

We all have those frequent fliers that call frequently.

Today, I'm terribly annoyed at one of mine.

Most of them, I can handle, because they're genuinely nice people who just manage to touch computers and they break. Some of them apologize for calling so frequently. Others really do have legitimate problems -- they work with some temperamental software and if they get booted, they need us to manually fix it for them. Some are just clueless.

This one guy, though. Grr. He calls, gets me, and asks for a tech. Repeatedly. Getting what the problem is out of him is like pulling teeth. I've actually told his tech before that he's lucky to get as much information in the ticket as he does. Yesterday he called needed his password fixed. I unlocked his account. He wouldn't stay on the phone to check it, so I assume it worked. Today, he called asking for one of our network guys. Fine. Coworker transferred him.

Two minutes later he calls back 'Is he there today?'
Coworker: I don't know, I'd have to check
User: Well, I'm on my cell phone. Hurry.
Coworker: *looks at me -- he's new -- and asks if he's here*
Me: Tell him he's at the opposite end of the building, we don't know.
Coworker: Tells guy this, guy hangs up.

I'm sorry. We're not the network group's keeper. Just because we haven't seen them doesn't mean they aren't here. Also, just because we've seen them doesn't mean they're not leaving again, too. Maybe they're in a meeting, or the server room. If you'd bother to leave a voice mail, maybe they'd call you back.

Whatever. I really don't like this guy. He just pisses me off. I knew precisely who he was just from what my coworker said.

(no subject)

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

Luser: ....I just got an email from network security saying I have a virus on my computer, and need to remove it from the network. I don't have my work computer on the network, I use it at home only.
Tech: So you don't have a computer on the company network at all, right?
Luser: no, I brought my home PC in and connected it to the office network.
Tech: You have your work computer at home, and your home computer at work?
Luser: Yes.
Tech: Ok, it is against company policy to have any computer but a company owned one on our network. You need to remove your home computer at once, and keep it off the network.

Luser: That's part of what the email I got said, so I've already had this lecture. Moving on, how do we get around this and check my computer for a virus?

________repeat 12 times______
Tech: we don't support your personal computer. You need to remove it from the network, and seek support for it elsewhere. If it is not a company asset, we don't work on it.
Luser: But how do get the virus off our computer?
_____End Repeat_____

Luser: But I need this computer at work.....
Tech: If you want to risk termination by the company, by all means, please keep your personal virus infested computer on the company network. The companies internal tech support works on company owned equipment. You have already broken the company policy, you have been warned by our security analysts to fix this. If you need an additional computer to do your work, you will have to have your department authorize the purchase of another computer, which once the forms are processed the IT department will be happy to set a new one up for you. In the meantime, if you continue to violate company policy, and expose the network to your unsecured personal computer, you risk termination. Remove your personal computer from my network right now.