*headdesk*

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Just overheard from a coworker:


"No, the internet doesn't require software drivers...."

(no subject)

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

Dear Valued and Very VERY Brand New Customer,


First and foremost, thank you for calling me on your speakerphone. Listening to your numerous kids playing and screaming in the background was such a joy for me to hear. I apologize that I had to ask you the same thing over and over at the top of my voice. Also, I'm so glad that you chose us as your Interwebby provider first and foremost. Why, you hadn't even finished setting up your Dell after taking it out of the box, nor plugged in the 2nd phone line when you decided to call me and sign up for service. Since it is Saturday night and there are only two of us in the call center, the 3 other customers who hung up while I was waiting for you to finish the startup, registration and 2nd startup will just have to call back huh?

Let me also stress, again, that the crappy 56K modem that came with your system will not be able to connect you to a DSL or Cable provider. In fact, that particular modem will barely connect you to us. If you want Cable or DSL, you will need to call someone else.

So, 30 minutes after you called, I got you online where you can start surfing porn at the speed of dial-up. I'm sure that the page will finish loading sometime in the morning. You only argued with me 3 times, which is pretty good for most callers. Since I am paid to sit here and do this over and over and over and over and over every day, I'm so happy that you finally saw my side of things and switched to classic view in the control panel. Also, "Network Connections" does NOT mean "Phone and Modem", nor does "click on Internet Options" mean start clicking and opening shit at random.

Also, since you chose to completely uninstall the pre-installed antivirus program that came with your system, and I highly doubt you will be replacing it, I'm sure the viruses that will be on your system by next week will be very easy to remove.


Thank you again for choosing our InterwebbyService.