techrecovery | Jun. 5th, 2001

I have a woman on the phone getting modem failure. As the ISP there is only so much we can do for her modem. Other than that, she needs to call her modem manufacturer (who in this case is Apple). Here is what happened:

luser: "It was working fine this afternoon. Then it just started getting this error modem is not responding correctly. So the last guy I spoke with trashed the modem (he trashed the modem preferences) and now it won't even dial at all and it's still getting this error.

ME: "Do you hear it dial and make any modem noises whatsoever?"

luser: "No." (then she proceeds to start whining here)

ME: "Ma'am there is only so much that insert company name here can do for your modem. (keep in mind this is a Macintosh) The last tech did the correct thing and if it still isn't working there is only one other thing I can check and then you need to call your modem manufacturer to have them run some more comprehensive tests."

luser: "Well I don't think it's my modem because it was working fine earlier."

ME: "Computers and modems are like cars. They don't last forever and things may suddenly break on them. Nothing in this world is infallible. (that's my fave phrase to say to customers) I want you to go to your special menu and click shut down. Is your modem internal or external?"

luser: "Uh uh uh uh...."

ME: "Is your modem inside of your computer or is it sitting outside of your computer?

luser: "I think it's inside."

ME: "Turn your computer back on. We will try connecting again but if it doesn't work, you need to call Apple."

luser: "I don't think it's a problem with my modem at all. I just think you're wrong. It's not the modem because it was working before."

ME: "Well, why don't you let Apple determine that since they can run more comprehensive tests on your modem to tell you exactly what is wrong and give you information on what you need to do."

luser: "I don't think it's a problem with my modem at all. I just think you're wrong. It's not the modem because it was working before." (you will get sick of this phrase from her)

Meanwhile I keep thinking: Then go fix what it is lady...since you obviously know what it is.

luser: "I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem. I know it's not the modem."

Between each of these times I keep saying call Apple over and over again. Finally she decided this was ridiculous and she says....

luser: "I'm going to try a different phone chord."

AND HANGS UP

Why do people call me if they are so all knowledgeable and powerful that they know what the problem is. I have call times and I don't feel like wasting them on you and your arguing over what my diagnosis of the problem is.