First rant...

[jazzmasterson.livejournal.com]

I work in-house tech support, commonly known as "babysitting." This conversation happened today.


M: me
CI: Clueless Individual
WCI: Wife of Clueless Individual

Some background: CI has an all-in-one printer/scanner/copier[1]. He uses this every day. It's one of the few things that he can do by rote, mostly because the step-by-step instructions are on a sticky note on his monitor. Next to the step-by-step instructions for how to open Microsoft Word. Also cut and paste.[2]

I am called into the office of the CI and WCI.

WCI was holding a ream of documents.

WCI: jazzmasterson, can you bring these forms to Sir Speedy?
M: For what?
CI: [foobar] inc. wants us to email these to them as... *lookatsticky* pee dee eff.
M: Why not scan them here? *pointatscannerprinter*
CI: [blanklook]
M: The scanner-printer. You can scan them to PDF.
CI: It scans forms, too?

[Much argument, which I lose. Don't ask. The PHB cannot be argued with.]

M: Ok, I have all the stuff in PDF.
WCI: Great! Now we need you to turn them into forms. In Microsoft Word.

I wanna cry.

[1] we bought this out of necessity, a year or so back, because CI has a tendancy to print to the network laser printer, walk over to it, grab everything sitting in the output tray, and then walk back to his desk, where the rest of the company's printouts would die a painful death of being crushed under his 25-page printouts of Bob Dylan lyrics. Now he prints to his own printer and walks over to the network printer, grabs everything on the tray, walks back to his desk with it, and looks confused. I am considering wiring the laser printer to deliver electrical shocks.

[2] This is true. Exact copy/paste instructions:

click on Edit on bar at top of screen
click on "copy" in list box
click in box
click on edit on bar at top of screen
click on "paste" in list box

In a different color pen on the same sticky note, on the side, is written: color the word I want to copy first.

It usually takes two attempts.

Comments

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

They need to dust off an IBM typewriter for this guy...


(Yes kiddies before IBM made PCs they were in the typewriter buissness. If you do not know what a typewriter is - ask your parents...)

[achernow.livejournal.com]

IBM Makes PCs? I thought Dell and Compaq made the PCs ;)

-A

[akacat.livejournal.com]

[looks at mother's IBM selectric typewriter]

[looks at M's CI (hey, if I can see my mother's typewriter half way across the US, I can see CI, wherever he is.)]

[offers M's CI a pad of paper and pencil. with manual sharpener]

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

Be careful with the sharpener. No sharp objects - he may hurt himself.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

That's OK - he'll still call in jazzmasterson to do it for him.

[norelevance.livejournal.com]

one of the sad parts is that the retard wrote down instructions on the long way to copy and paste... i guess it takes too much coordination to hit two keys simultaneously.

[jazzmasterson.livejournal.com]

*grumble*

I wish you were joking. :)

[jazzmasterson.livejournal.com]

Ah, but he "learned" it one way already, you see. And I think he has trouble with the idea that there is more than one way of doing things.

I've considered locking the door that he commonly uses to get into the building, to see if he stands there butting his head on the glass for the rest of the day, or if he gets the idea and goes over to the back entrance after a half-hour and a broken nose.

[jazzmasterson.livejournal.com]

Oh, please god I wish.

[jazzmasterson.livejournal.com]

You know, when this office had IBM Selectric typewriters, they also had secretaries to type on them, because it was difficult to correct mistakes, and typing is a skill.

When computers came out, the people who felt they weren't capable of handling IBM typewriters decided to skip the secretaries and put the infinitely more complicated and involved computers on their own desks.

After a couple of years of this crap, I think now that I preferred it when the secretaries did the thinking and the work and the executives sat around and got paid for talking on the phone instead of screwing up my stuff and proving that there is no such thing as an idiot-proof box.

[panacea1.livejournal.com]

I dare you.

(enlist the assistance of your cow-orkers, though, so that nobody takes pity on him and opens the door for him - otherwise, you'll get a situation like that with Damncat and the human-operated catflap....)

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

I thought dell made those cute ipod knockoffs...digital jukeboxes aren't they called?