Trace Route

[mrsvickie.livejournal.com]

Me: Thank you for calling (ISP HERE). My name is Victoria. How may I help you?
Customer: Ah yes, I'm having a slow connection. I preformed a trace route and it took forever and it was a horrible result.
Me: Do we have a router or a hub in the connection?
Customer: Yes, would you like to me to remove it?
Me: Yes please.
Customer: Give me a minute I need to recycle all the devices.
Me: No problem. Take your time.

5 Minutes later...

Customer: Okay we are starting back up.
Me: Okay when we get back up we will be checking your IP Address.
Customer: Okay we are back up. IPCONFIG/ALL?
Me: Yes please.
Customer: My IP Address is XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX
Me: Okay that is a valid one let's ping now. Please type in Ping www.google.com
Customer: 4 Replies
Me: Okay let's try Ping 216.239.51.99
Customer: 4 Replies
Me: Let's do a Trace Route now to www.google.com
Customer: How do you do a Trace Route?

You stupid idiot. Did you not just tell me that you ran a trace route at the begining of the call? God people are dumb. I betcha that this guy had just heard some guy saying they did a trace route when they had a slow connection.

Comments

OMG!

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

A luser lying? What next?

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

thats awesome. I would have asked him "I don't know. Isn't that what you were using when you called in? I was just checking to make sure you're router wasn't causing any issues. So there probably wasn't a problem after all."

[kyndig.livejournal.com]

I used to love the ones who used terms they didn't understand.

Me:
"Ok, send the output of the trace route to a text file and email it to me".

Customer: "Err...ummm...how do I do that again?"