Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Work, Part 7

[delta_mike]

(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)

• Name the new batch of file-servers after Latin expletives.
• Name any server ORWELL.
• .. especially if it's the network IDS box or HTTP proxy server.
• .. your second choice of name of BLACKMAIL for the HTTP proxy server is likewise vetoed.
• Change the ring-tone on my office phone to the theme tune from "Mission: Impossible".
• ... or have it signal an incoming call from the Financial officer by playing, "Back in Black."
• ... similarly forbidden combinations include "Smoke on the Water" for the building Fire officer, "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" for the site medical team, or "Go Go Power Rangers" for campus security.
• ... Modification of the ringtone or any other setting of other users' handsets without express permission from the owner is likewise forbidden.
• Random Early Drop is not a legitimate strategy for coping with too many support tickets.
• The back-up tapes are not scared of the dark.
• ... Do not assign individual personalities to different back-up tapes.
• ... Do not draw eyes and faces on the back-up tapes in permanent black marker.
• ... The back-up tapes cannot speak, nor have they formed a collective and elected you their leader.
• ... In the event the back-up tapes do speak, you are not to follow their advice.
• In short, do not anthropomorphise the backup tapes. We don't like it.
• ... We are not asking you to anthropomorphise Departmental Management. Despite your protestations to the contrary, we are already anthropomorphic.
• No, rioting in the streets does not constitute legal grounds for forming a "People's Militia", a.k.a forming your own Security group.
• ... Also, no, martial-arts instruction can't be funded out of the Departmental training budget.
• ... We are, however, accepting your request for training in first-aid. We suspect it's probably a bad idea, but we can't immediately see how..

(Continued!)

Comments

[redhillian.livejournal.com]

Per the last item; your soul belongs to us now.

[torkell]

Name any server ORWELL.
.. especially if it's the network IDS box or HTTP proxy server.

Changing the server names to use the asset number and then ensuring server #1984 is the proxy server is also prohibited.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure Colossus is also on the verboten list.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

Name a server "451F"...

So, I started a new job recently. I the middle of one of my first group meetings my cell phone went off. I got strange looks. Why? My standard ringtone is "Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield.

My roomie has the theme from Knight Rider on her phone.

[delta_mike]

My phone makes the Star Trek bosun's whistle sound, once. Then shuts up. Clear, distinctive, able to penetrate background noise, but doesn't make you scrabble to make it be quiet if it goes off at an unwelcome time..

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

as is WOPA and GLaDOS I'd imagine.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

Figures, an alert sound designed by an actual sound engineer, even if it was in the 60's, is going to be efficient.

Mine's an old fashioned bell telephone... for much the same reason.

Old is not necessarily obsolete.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

You could however get away with calling the server WIN-STON, if it's a windows server.

Also, suggested ringtones:
The Dean; Handel’s Hallelujah chorus.
Janitorial and maintenance: Yakkaty sax.
Reception: Yakkaty Yak [Don't talk back!]