http://hairbrush.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] hairbrush.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] techrecovery2011-06-29 12:00 pm

Contrary to popular belief, I do not have magical powers because I can replace your keyboard.

Background: I do freelance repair while I'm finishing up school. I work out of my home.

Okay, this client dropped off his Sony laptop with me because the keyboard needed to be replaced. Seems simple enough, right? Well, I fix that, call him to let him know he can pick it up, should be end of story, right?

...Of course it isn't that easy.

Colonel Dumbfuck: Oh, great, thanks. If I leave it with you a few more days, can you make it an Apple for me?

Me: *pause* ..Do you mean install the OS X operating system? Well, yes, but your hard drive isn't large enough to support both that and your current Windows installation, with all of your current files and documents, so-

Colonel Dumbfuck: No, like.. make it an Apple. All white and with the Apple logo.

Me: ..No, sir, if you want an Apple-branded product, you would need to purchase an Apple-branded product. I am not authorized to build Apple products, nor would I have any idea how to begin to convert a Sony laptop into an Apple product because they are made by two entirely different companies.

Colonel Dumbfuck: I'm sure you can, don't sell yourself short!

Me: I appreciate your confidence in me, sir, but I assure you, I cannot do what you're asking. I can install OS X, but I would advise against it because it wouldn't perform as desi-

Colonel Dumbfuck: So I'd have to take it to the Apple store? I'm sure they could do it.

Me: Sir, all they are going to tell you any differently is that they can sell you an Apple product right there, whereas I am not a store.

Colonel Dumbfuck: You're just trying to short-change me. I'm not going to pay you for the repair.

Me: Sir, you are not getting your laptop back from me without payment. You contacted me for a keyboard replacement, that is what you signed off on and what I have documents to prove. If you insist on attempting to take your laptop back from me without payment, I will be forced to file a theft of service claim with the local police department.


He finally calmed down, paid & picked up his laptop from me, and then said:

Colonel Dumbfuck: I still think you could have made this an Apple. I don't think I'll be using your service again.

Me: Sir, I am a computer repair person. I am not a fucking genie.

Cue his astonished face and his rapid walk back to his car.

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