Snow Problem

[klytus.livejournal.com]

I live and work in the DC area, which, as almost everyone who has not been living under a rock knows, we've been buried under snow all fucking week. Our office has been closed since Monday. Everyone in the company knows this. Naturally, work has been piling up since no one is at the office to do shit. Granted, there is a lot of work we can do from home. But laptop repairs and configurations? Sorry, you can't telework for that - especially when FedEx and UPS haven't been delivering packages.

So, imagine my reaction when I saw this e-mail today (the client called in Monday to ship in his old laptop to have data saved and get a replacement):

Hello Klytus,

Your Purchasing Director told me that I should check with you to see when TheClient will have his laptop. Is it a new purchase or is an existing laptop? Anyway i just wanted to see if i could get a time frame that TheClient will have his laptop. Anything you can tell me would be a great help. Thanks. -TheIdiot

Here's the e-mail I actually sent...

TheIdiot- When we get TheClient's old laptop in, we will try to swap the hard drive into a surplus (but still under warranty). If that fails, we will try to recover the data from the old drive and migrate it to a new image for the replacement.

Unfortunately, I cannot give you any kind of timetable for the turn around on this. TheOffice has been closed all week, and this past week has generated a very heavy workload with regards to laptop repairs and the like - none of which we have been able to do anything with because of the closures. We will do the best we can to get to all of our cases as quickly as possible. But again, we have a backlog waiting for us, so there will be delays in getting laptops serviced and back out the door.

We appreciate your patience and understanding in this matter.

Best Regards,

Klytus

Here's the one he deserved to get...

TheIdiot: Are you out of your fucking mind!? What part of "closed all week" do you not get? I am currently in arguments with 20 other people about which of their cases is really top-priority to work on first when we finally get back to TheOffice. If you're lucky, maybe you'll get invited to the round-table, but I doubt it. But thanks to your being a dickhead, I'll take care to make extra-sure it lands at the bottom of the 20 or so other packages waiting for me when I get back. If all goes well, maybe I'll see it again before Spring.

We'll get to it when we get to it, assmuncher!

Warm Regards and Bless Your Heart,

Klytus

Comments

[fallconsmate.livejournal.com]

*emails you adult beverages of your choice*

cause i can see the need for much stress relief AFTER things thaw out and get back to normal. FSVO normal, that is.

[tanetris.livejournal.com]

This reads to me mostly as "TheClient is on my ass and I need to tell him/her/it something, so I'm e-mailing you so I can honestly say I checked." In particular, "Anything you can tell me would be a great help" reads to me as "I'm quite aware that there's no chance of a positive answer, and I understand why." But likely I'm giving too much credit.

Now if it had ended with "Is there any chance of it being done by [insert ridiculous timeframe]?" that would be grounds for defenestration.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

It's more like: "I,personally, need TheClient to have a working laptop again so the work *I* need him to do can get done.. So I'll just stand here and pretend to not be hoovering over your shoulder impatiently waiting for this to be done... Are you done yet?"

[notthebuddha.livejournal.com]

I had a guy sit and watch me rebuild and restore his UNIX server from backup for eight hours - though he did give me a couple of half hour breaks to do everything else I usually did during the course of a business day.