Muahahahahaaaaaa!

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

A minor update to http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/2040296.html !

I got a phone call today, and unfortunately for the (presumably nice) tech support person on the other end, I was in a mildly snarky mood. (I get snarky when four hours of my day involves sitting in meetings and the remaining four hours consists of setting up for OTHER meetings, with constant interruptions from people who want me to do something different Right Now. Also, no lunch break. I get snarkier when I have low blood sugar.)

Tech: I'm calling about the printer you reported faulty, we have it listed here as fixed now?
Me: Which one?
Tech: (impatiently) The one you reported!
Me: I've reported THREE in the last few days. Which one? (Dude, seriously, I write down ticket numbers and stuff like a good little user, use 'em please?)
Tech: The colour one.
Me: (chipper voice) I've reported two colour ones! Which one?
Tech: The one in the resource room?
Me: (even more chipper and resisting the urge to giggle) That doesn't narrow it down for me, they're both in resource rooms. (YO! TICKET NUMBERS ARE YOUR FRIENDS!)
Tech: (desperately) The Lanier?
Me: They're both Laniers!
Tech: ...the one with the printer guide fault?
Me: Ohhhhhhhh, that one. Yes, it seems to be working fine now thanks.
Tech: Thankyougoodbye! *click*

BAH. I probably could have sped that up by just asking him for the ticket number, but I was not feeling helpful at all, and after about the third back-and-forth I was getting amused. On the plus side, I got to have a good laugh afterwards, which cheered me up and probably prevented me from murdering a couple of coworkers...

Comments

[cirobi.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's almost the reverse of what our helldesk does to me frequently. When we first went live with our helldesk, which oh so conveniently is in India, they would call us for updates on tickets in our queue but wouldn't pay attention to the time zone they were calling into. I'd be in my car, stuck in city traffic, raging my way home and get a phone call "is there any update on ticket #blahblahblah?" Meanwhile there's about 10 tickets in queue waiting for user input because of developers just can't be bothered with cooperating most days. My standard reply? "I'm in my car on my way home, do you mind reading of a description of the ticket as I do not have them all memorized." I usually said it in as pleasant a voice as I could muster which is an amazing roll for diplomacy on my part at that hour. I think their manager changed the process though because we now just get emails with lists of ticket numbers to which I can simply reply and say "no update at this time" Half the time our dev group puts in tickets that are ZOMG HIGH PRIORTY but then don't let us work on the machine or don't even want to talk to us because ZOMG EVERYTHING IS AN EMERGENCY, so we've got a stack of their tickets just sitting around that the helldesk then pesters us for updates on.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

That's always struck me as being the way to go: The angrier one gets, the more polite one should get. "Mr. McGee, I should greatly advise against further attempts to incur my ire, as they would surely result in a situation that would leave you not having a high opinion of me." (It's even funnier if you imagine it in a Stephen Fry voice. ^_^)

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

I call it "Kill 'em with kindness"


I don't know how many customers have been ranting and raving at me, and the more polite I was, the angrier they got.


By the way, I'm totally stealing the Mr. McGee line.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

If you come up with a more comfortable phrasing, let me know. I ran that one off the cuff, and then tinkered with it for about fifteen minutes, all before coffee. It could probably have used more time. ^_^

And as for the "kill them with kindness" thing, I did it to a cop once and nearly got arrested. It was awesome. ^_^

Oh, and Icon Love, btw.

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

thanks.

stole it from an episode of Galacticast with some minor tweaking.

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

Yup, a description would have been useful to you so you didn't get it... a number would have been helpful to me, so I didn't get it. :) Murphy's Law, helldesk variation. :D

I may not work on a helpdesk but I still get the "ZOMG HIGH PRIORITY but you can't work on it" situations... "You have to do this!!!!! It's really important!!!!!" "Sure, just give me info x, y, and z to plug into the template, since I don't have full access to that data." "Can't talk now got meetings bye oh and get me that document plskthx!"

...yeeeeah, you'll get that document next week. For now I'll just start setting up the chain of email reminders that will prove the delay wasn't my fault if anyone complains...

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

I don't get angry well - by which I mean if I let too much anger show in my voice I start getting shrill. Shrill is bad, you sound incompetent even when you're right. :) So I try for "annoyingly polite" instead. :D

I do the same when I'm getting upset, too. In one of my past jobs I managed a ten-minute phone conversation with someone who was blaming me for the results of their own stupidity (they'd refused to do some mandatory financial paperwork because everyone in their section was "too busy", then got narked when I sent a "can't complete this, XXX refuse to submit" message up the chain of command and a large buttkick got bounced back down it to them. How dare I not make up their section of the report out of thin air?). I just kept getting more and more calm and precise. "Okay, one moment-- excuse me, yes I AM about to tell you how to do it, I am just getting the paperwork so I can read you the exact instructions and make sure we get this right first time. Thank you. Now, you need to fill in--" I finished the call, hung up, and burst into tears. My supervisor was horrified, apparently the only reason why she hadn't taken over the call and read the asshat the riot act was because my side of the call sounded perfectly calm!

A couple of days later I had the absolutely gleeful delight of receiving the most grudging, weasel-worded, half-assed excuse for an apology it's ever been my pleasure to have had forced out of someone by their military superior. AND the twit got a formal reprimand on their record. :D

[cirobi.livejournal.com]

Yea, I like having at least an email trail to prove douchebaggery of that sort. I also like the line "I'm sorry sir/ma'am, but my crystal ball is cracked" when folks don't feel like saying all the details or reporting issues in a timely manner.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

See, that's what makes your world so awesome: true, you had to deal with the idiot du jour, but your supervisor backed you up rather than getting mad at you or leaving you to the wolves. Hang on to that one, she's a keeper.

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

Sadly, that job is long past, but you're right - she was lovely, and did a wonderful display of Righteous Indignation on my behalf. :) I've been generally lucky with supervisors, thank goodness; all but one (got rid of him, too!) have been good even when higher levels of management were absolute asshats, and in my current job I seem to have lucked into a lovely combo of good supervisor AND good higher management! (Fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc.)

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

Oooh yeah.

"Okay... so several of the phones in your section are giving you problems varying from locked voicemail to not being able to call out, it's been going on for months and you're sick of the lack of support? Have you, perchance, reported these issues? ...No? Well that would explain the lack of support, wouldn't it?"

*mutter* "Dolts!"

*louder* "Okay, give me the details - no, ALL the details, not just the name of the person whose phone it is, I want extension numbers and port numbers too thank you VERY much - and I'll put in one heck of a combined ticket. Yay, I get to deal with the phone hell desk again..."

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

im in ur lj
stealin ur icon

Seriously though, yeah.
I love your icon and I'm taking it.
I'll tell everyone where I got it from, though. :)

[boomshesaid.livejournal.com]

it's been going on for months and you're sick of the lack of support? Have you, perchance, reported these issues? ...No?


OOOGH that makes my skin crawl! I hate it so.

[ex-deliveryboy.livejournal.com]

word

[emsporter.livejournal.com]

I detest it even more when "Did you report the issues?" is met with "Don't you people do MAINTENANCE? you should KNOW when things break!!!!!"

*sigh* Not. Psychic.

[jecook]

Outstanding.

I absolutely *love* my current position- I'm allowed to be a slightly evil bastard to the support group (especially as that's where I came from) with boss's blessing if they are not doing stuff right.

[sithanas.livejournal.com]

Of course, I just enjoy using kindness even when it's not for killing.