So, I mentioned I'd post this in my previous comments...

[methedras.livejournal.com]

For obvious reasons, I will not be placing the name of the ISP that I work for in here, so it will be removed where it has been entered.



Subject: YOU HAVE NO PRODUCTS OR SERVICE YOU MAKE THE NET BAD


I thought the idea of having a isp was to get on the net NOT WITH CRAPPYMAIL (ISP NAME HERE)
yes when ya dial up and get on if you dont get disconnected within the first five minutes your lucky but if you manage so stay connected NOTHING HAPPENS AT ALL IT CAN TAKE TEN OR MORE MINUTES TO LOAD A PAGE IF YOUR LUCKY ? WHY
THERE IS NO POINT STAYING WITH SUCH POOR SERVICE
I CARNT UPGRADE MY ANTI VIRUS IT DOESENT GET A RESPONSE
I CARNT PLAY ONLINE GAMES BECAUSE EVERYONY SAYS IM LAGGING TO BAD
I CARNT PUT LOTTO ON ANY MORE CARNT DISPLAY WEB PAGE IS THE MESSAGE I ALLWAYS GET
I CARNT DO MUCH AT ALL ANY MORE THE QUALITY OF SERVICE HAS DROPPED AND IS GETTING SLOWER BY THE DAY AND NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN IT TO ME JUST SO LONG AS PEOPLE PAY THERE MONEY YOU IDIOTS THINK EVERYTHING IS PEACHY WRONG ARE YOU IDIOTS EVER GUNNA GET YA ACT TOGETHER PROB NOT THING GETTING WORSE NOT BETTER BY THE DAY IT COSTS HEAPS IN LOCAL CALLS BECAUSE IT KEEPS DROPPING OUT AND I HAVE TO REDIAL SO IT ENDS UP COSTING HEAPS TO USE [ISP NAME HERE] EVEN ONENET ARE FASTER THAN YOU MOB IT WAS A MATES ACCOUNT AND THEY CAN PROVIDE BETTER SERVICE WHEN I TRIED HIS ACCOUNT I WAS ALL OF A SUDDEN ON THE NET LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE WITH YOU LOT . [ISP NAME HERE] SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN BECAUSE YOU CANNOT PROVIDE A INTERNET SERVICE OF ANY DISCRIPTION JUST BECAUSE YOU DIAL UP WITH YOU MODEM DOESENT MEAN YOUR ON THE NET LIKE YOU MOB YOU HAVE TO WAIT A WET WEEK BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS THAT IS NOT THE NET IT EVEN TAKES FOREVER TO CHECK YOUR OWN DETAILS AT YOUR OWN SITE HOW BAD IS THAT AND THEY SAY IT SHOULD BE QUICKER BEING LOCAL BULLSHIT IT CAN TAKE LONGER LIKE I SAID BEFORE THERE IS NO SERVICE AT ALL IT MAKES THE NET HOPPLESS UM SORRY ITS NOT THE NET ITS CRAPPYMAIL THAT MAKES IT BAD I CAN NOT WAIT UNTILL THE 12 OF THIS MONTH AS I WILL BE GIVING YOU IDIOTS THE BIGGEST FLICK OF ALL THANK GOD I MIGHT BE ABLE TO USE THE INTERNET

PS THERE WAS NO CHECKING OF THIS EMAIL BECAUSE OF THE SIMPLE FACT YOU CAN NOT PROVIDE AN INTERNET SERVICE SO I CART IMAGINE ANY ONE THERE BEING ABLE TO SPELL ANYWAY A BUNCH OF 5 YEAR OLDS COULD RUN AN INTERNET SERVICE BETTER THANKS FOR NOTHING MEANING JUST THAT NOTHING AT ALL . STILL VERY PISSED BECAUSE I PAY MONEY EACH MONTH FOR NOTHING AT ALL THANK YOU CRAPPYMAIL MAY YOU GO OUT OF BUSSINESS . IT *$!#ING SUX BIGTIME OH AND THE USUALLY REPLY TO A LETTER LIKE THIS IS OH THATS NOT US WE CARNT HELP YOU NO ONE CAN HEY, BE TRUTHFUL NOW JUST PASS THE BUCK BUT MINE $ STOPS HERE NO MORE OF MY $$ GOING ON CRAPPYMAIL FOR NOTHING AND LET ME GUESS NO ONE WILL EVEN READ OR NO ONE GIVES A XXXX

Comments

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

Lovely. :/

[methedras.livejournal.com]

I have some absolutely excellent ones here, check this out...


Subject : Your phone number does not answer from Melbourne


I have reported this problem to several people including your supervisor, Mark .
I am having problems connecting on to [ISP name here] with my new computer and can't even get on to you to even get help
I know that you moved your support centre to Sydney- WHAT A VERY BIG MISTAKE
I have been a loyal supporter of [ISP name here] for many years and have always got excellent help in the past
IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED RESPONDING TO THIS THEN I WILL GO ELSEWHERE.
PHONE ME PLEASE ON XXXX XXX XXX
WHERE IS THE SEND BUTTON ON THIS PAGE??!!

[mellay.livejournal.com]

mind-blowingly, audaciously, completely, utterly horrifying.

good lord.

now i'm happy i just do hardware and OS support.

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

Makes you want to reach out and punch someone, eh?

/headdesk

I'd tell them to get their ass elsewhere ASAP, frankly, and to the 'phone me please' bit, I'd find the most annoying and/or skankiest person you knew to give them a ring and try to, *ahem,* set up something. ;)

[mtlchick.livejournal.com]

The best one I ever got working at an ISP included the line "You people obviously have no concept of the master - servant relationship."

I hate people some days...

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

At this point, I'd tell this person, "I think the folks at AOL would be better equipped to handle the kinds of problems you're having."

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

Heh. Or, uh, you know... the Australian equivalent of AOL.

[hoffman-log.livejournal.com]

I remember you posting that one. What a riot.

_MaH

[glennarbor.livejournal.com]

let's start a campaign that requires computer users must pass a simple test and get a license before attempting to get online, just like driving.

[liquidmercurial.livejournal.com]

HEAR HEAR!! I'd VOTE for that!!!

[gevauden.livejournal.com]

the Australian equivalent of AOL.

Also known (oddly enough) as AOL.
Or, technically now Primus-AOL.

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

funny, considering that's what AOL tells them, just replace AOL with ****, regardless of which brand computer they have >=/

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling a lot of them wouldn't even want computers if they knew what they were getting into. I think their grandkids force 'em into it.

[floatingpencil.livejournal.com]

Now that is a quality e-mail. I hope it was passed around the office to be mocked.

What? It can't be just our office that does that!