Must "Perform The Needful" on this Luser!

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Argh!

I turn around and there's another problem ticket in.

Let me quote the entirety of the problem description field....

Need to have
Preferred Method of Contact:

Four of those words are entered automatically by the ticketing system.

I'm torn between canceling the ticket for lack of a proper request and emailing them back asking which of the range of human needs they are looking to us to fulfill, then referring them to HR for a Bad Touch/Red Light conversation!

Comments

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

we have a lot of outsourced Indian IT personnel contracted to our organisation, and quite a lot of them reassign support tickets or sign off emails with the phrase "please do the needful". I don't know who taught them that this is a good thing to say. It drives me batty.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine the fun one of us could have, should someone ever be defective enough to hire us, as a "subject matter expert" on interacting with Americans in an Indian tech office?

Oh, the wide open fields of evil we could sow...

[tanetris.livejournal.com]

Clearly the user is concerned with the rampant materialism ingrained in our society. Inform payroll that user would prefer their paycheck withheld until further notice.

[jasoncrowley.livejournal.com]

Actually, that phrase is directly lifted from correspondence from the seventeenth century, so you might need a time machine.

Oh, and you will be intimated shortly!

[mouser.livejournal.com]

"Have sent"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I am havening a problem with this one.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

That's OK George.

[red-scully.livejournal.com]

Was it that you accidentally the whole thing?

[lintilla.livejournal.com]

It's an Indian English thing. The Indian folks at my office do it, too.