(no subject)

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

Ticket from rival cable $ISP, where a friend works. Mind you, this ticket was filled by one of the customer service reps at $ISP store.

Customer has 8Mb service. Customer has 7Mb access. Please send tech to bring customer the missing 1Mb.

There. are. no. words.

Comments

[kageneko.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of...

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I get a mental image of a technicial in a beige trenchcoat, sun-glasses and a fedora, looking around in suspicion to everyone he passes on the street, with a suitcase with 1MB emblazoned on the side, hand-cuffed to his wrist.

.....sorry, it's the heat, I think I need another beer.

[2percentright.livejournal.com]

Damn. You got to it before I did. :'(

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

And a rogue hacker, running out from a side street, coshing the poor beggar and trying to run off with the case, only to be pulled back as the chain catches, and standing there with his foot on the technician's armpit, trying to pull the chain off...

[hamsterhotep.livejournal.com]

[Insert witty homage to Mad Max and "hacksaw" pun here]

[ucnu112.livejournal.com]

Send 'em a floppy disk and tell them to keep the change.

[fallconsmate.livejournal.com]

I read this to my sixteen year old son. He said "oh. My. God." if a 16 yr old can see the fail... WTF was that goob thinking??? o.O

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

ZOMG. So much love!

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

You've made my day much brighter than it was. Have a cookie!

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

Essentially, friend sent me a message with 'now I've seen everything' after he saw the ticket.

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

Please don't forget to turn off the lights when you leave.

[dave-iii.livejournal.com]

That's better than my thought... a greasy voice creeps out of a shadowy alley: "Hey buddy.... wanna buy a meg?"

[samldanach.livejournal.com]

You can't shut off the world! That's where I keep all my stuff!

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Where would you sit?

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Point being, usually the seats are on this planet-to-be-shut-off...

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

Wow--this indeed epic fail...for the OP, his friend, and the rather stupid tech that used that phrasing to record the ticket in the first place.

I mean, how much of an idiot do you have to be to get the concept of 'Hey, I'm paying for a particular bandwidth here, and I'm getting rather sub-par performance. Maybe you need to send a tech out to check line quality and related issues so that I get the transfer speeds I'm actually paying for?'. Really. (I had to have the line replaced from the pole to the jack in the house for just such a reason--it was old wiring, and couldn't handle broadband properly).

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

Beg pardon?

First (and rather minor), her friend. Female tech here.

Also, I don't see where you think my friend and I are failing here. He works backoffice tech for $ISP, I work at 2nd tier at another $ISP. We both understand perfectly well the concept of a customer with lower-speed access whose line needs fixing. (I get that one everyday. Don't pull that one at someone you don't know, please.)

The store rep, however, is the idiot who pulled that ticket. It's not the fact that the customer is having sub-par performance, but how the rep handled it. A megabit isn't something you pick up and walk out with, like the ticket implied. (And yes, you can consider it is something you walk out with as it is an unit of information, but I think everyone here gets my point.)

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

Ah--mea culpa. The vibe I was getting from this was Yet Another 'Laugh at the (supposedly) Stupid Customer' Story, hence the ire at you and your friend (and mea culpa x10 for the gender thing--I should definitely know better). But at least we both agree that the rep who posted the ticket was an idiot. :-)

[ofstarstuff.livejournal.com]

Eh, I fully sympathize with the customer. Anyone who gets such an idiotic rep merits condolences. It was just the ticket that blew us. (About the gender thing, don't worry ;) It's normal in this service.)

Refer to above comments for jokes on how to take the missing megabit to the customer.

[vulpisfoxfire.livejournal.com]

No sweat--I read way too many Tech Tale/Computer Stupidities stories where the poster has a superiority complex, I suppose, which is why I read the wrong tone into yours. :-/

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

But ... but ... we ARE superior!

[kageneko.livejournal.com]

DALEKS ARE SUPERIOR!

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

red hair + Dalek = You are the weaker link, goodbye!