I don't even strictly work tech...

[janey-mac.livejournal.com]

just customer care for an ISP. Here in Ireland we had some pretty severe (for a small damp island) weather in early February, and the vast majority of our wireless internet services were adversely affected, so we had a lot of calls that went like this:

Caller: Why isn't my internet working?

Me: That's because of the weather.

Caller: Ah, that's grand so.


And then there was one one that went like this:

Caller: Why isn't my internet working?
(Please note, he has our cheapest, most basic internet service, good for web browsing and not much else. The chances of him knowing more about our network than our network operations team are slim.)

Me: That's because of the weather.

Caller: I don't think that's the case.

Me: No, really, it is.

Caller: Well it doesn't stop working in rain, and rain is heavier than snow!

Me: o.O No, really, the weather has caused problems all over the country... (Biting tongue to stop from asking where he got his degree in radio engineering, since he knows so much.)

Caller: (triumphantly) Well how do you know that's what's caused my problem if I'm the first one to call in about it?!

Me: You're not... we've had lots of calls from your area. It's been investigated by our network operations team. They say it's the weather.

Caller: Well I don't see why that should be!

Me: Fine. I can transfer you to tech support (so they can tell you the exact same thing...)

I felt rather sorry for the poor tech he ended up talking to. Why does someone who calls their ISP to ask why their internet connection is down then accuse them of misleading them when the ISP answers their question?

What did he expect? That we'd say "Oh, you saw through our clever lie! Yeah, your internet connection doesn't work becuse we went out to the highsite and smashed it with hammers. Just to annoy you, because we hate out customers and are evil." Gobshite!

Comments

[egearman.livejournal.com]

He most likely wanted it to be something that was controllable and thus fixable so he could go back to his web surfing.

[kukla-red.livejournal.com]

Next time tell him the wee folk must have done it. He should go find a circle of mushrooms and ask them to make his internet work again.

Sheesh.

[barbituratecat.livejournal.com]

They accuse them of misleading them because they believe everything can be fixed instantaneously, and any answer indicating otherwise is clearly WRONG. Especially in the cases where weather is affecting service, Customer A does not believe that can possibly be true, because 'I have seen it rain/snow/sleet/etc before, and the service was not down then!!'

And as we all know, one observed situation = the truth for every single situation afterwards.

[canray.livejournal.com]

Then forget to tell him he needs to bring honey and bread to appease them, so they eat him instead. Problem solved.

[trayce.livejournal.com]

Uggghh sympathies! I used to work satellite 2-way so I know how weather can be a pain. No one ever believes you when you say "clouds did it". We started making up shit about sunspots because for some baffling reason they'd buy that. Maybe because the sun is in SPACE, man.

[canray.livejournal.com]

"Solar Flares."

"HOW THE HELL DOES SOLAR FLARES AFFECT MY UNDERGROUND LINE INTERNET?"

"You're contacting BERLIN. Do you think we have a underground line to BERLIN? There's only a few pipelines underwater for all of Europe, the rest go via satellite, which ARE affected by Solar Flares. Hense the reason for your constant disconnections. Everything is trying to go through that single, small backbone when it's used to having various options available to it."

[alexanderc.livejournal.com]

I can certainly sympathize with you but I can also understand some customers not trusting what their ISP tells them. For example, when my dad's went out one day, they swore up and down it was his router and that he'd have to buy a new one to make it work right. Later that day I called and found out that the DSLAM fried and it would be back up in another 30 minutes from my call. My dad may not anything about networking but he can tell when he's being told something just to get rid of him. All he was missing was ammunition to fire back and force them to double check the source of the problem.

[snoopyh42.livejournal.com]

Ahh, thank you BOFH.

bad irish joke...

[krank-kether.livejournal.com]

I would "transfer" them to a recording of father jack saying "DAT WOULD BE AN ECUMENICAL MATTER."

[jarad.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I know what ISP you work for, because I work for one a little further to the north, and we supply a number of wireless connections to folks.

We had great fun with the freezing snow recently and people expecting us to come out and risk our necks cleaning off the ice-encased antennas on their snow-covered slippy roofs for free, rather than just wait the 1.5 hours for it to melt in the sun.

[canray.livejournal.com]

For the tough calls, I "transfered" them to the Supervisor known only as "The Gunny".

Think R. Lee Ermey (Drill Instructor from "Full Metal Jacket") doing Tech Support.

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

I was ather glad to work through the whole thing. Meant I got my internet through work and for ONCE there as no dead air in our clals - everyone aws talking about the weather.

... and laughing at the Irish for being a huge bunch of sissies :P majority of my calls come form Scandinavia, where they have to deal with this shit several months a year. So, yah...

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

Rain is heavier than snow made me laugh so hard.

You made a minor error there; let me correct it.

[jecook]

"He most likely wanted it to be something that was controllable and thus fixable so he could go back to his webporn surfing."

[jecook]

I would pay money to see that. Seriously.

[canray.livejournal.com]

MONEY? DO I LOOK LIKE A CHARITY TO YOU! I TAKE PAYMENT IN PAIN!

NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY-FIVE!!!

Re: bad irish joke...

[canray.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest other statements from Father Jack. ;-P

Re: bad irish joke...

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

ARSE

[janey-mac.livejournal.com]

Very very true, but I think when there are snowstorms outside it's a little odd to not belive that it's the weather.

[janey-mac.livejournal.com]

Heh. We actually have a supervisor called Mad Dog. I have often wanted to use his nickname when transferring customers.

[jokergirl.livejournal.com]

We're somewhat better equipped to handle it, too.
Although I was amused by the BBC's page on how to survive snow (and the subsequent spoof of it on metaquotes).

;)

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean... it's true, given the same volume of rain and snow, because the snow has a lot more airspace packed in it.

But snow also has this tendency to pile up on things like wires and roofs, and break them. There are situations where you can pile a much greater weight of snow because of this stacking ability. Water doesn't pile up on any but the most badly designed roof.

[janey-mac.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. We are complete weather-wusses, but what do you expect for a country where the weather basically goes from late spring (at the height of summer) to early spring (in the depths of winter)?

I would like at some stage in my life to live for one year in a country with proper seasons, just for the experience!

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Wait, you mean you DONäT get all four seasons in a single day? :P

Irishweathr is an.. experience for a scandinavian transplant XD

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

I know but it was such a bizzare reasoning.

[janey-mac.livejournal.com]

Well, that too! Sunglasses, raincoat, t-shirt for when it gets warm, fleece for when it gets cold... Then you're ready for a day outdoors in Ireland!