(no subject)

[blondebeaker.livejournal.com]

*Cackles* This second last call of the night had me dying of laughter all night. Italics and asterisks are my thoughts.

Me: Thank you for calling *insert cable company* this is blondebeaker  speaking how can I help you today!   *I haven't touched coffee in two weeks and tonight I had three cups!*

Customer: Where are you located?

Me: Canada!

Customer: *sighs* Close enough. Listen, I'm a Network Engineer for a Major company and I have your home networking.  Every time I call in  with a wireless issue, I get some thick accented foreigner from overseas who tries to make me do basic troubleshooting. I already know what to do so why do they make me do it? * I dunno, maybe because half of the "Network Engineers"  who call in are actually dolts who never do basic internet connectivity troubleshooting? Oh and the networking guys are thick accented because they are from the ALABAMA! our Philippines team even have a hard time understanding all ten of them!*

Me: I am sorry about that, we kind of assume that most people don't know how to do this stuff, if I can have your phone number and pull up your account I can help you!.

Customer: NO. I want to speak to a supervisor, not some twit from buttfuck India. I want an AMERICAN. NOT CANADIAN, A. MER. EEE. CAN. Understand? *asshat* I have not had internet in my house for over a month! *oh wah! you are still an asshat*

Me: Ok I will transfer you to a sup. I have to put you on hold and talk to them first ok?

Supervisor who is located in the Philippines: 'Sup my Goddess of the Internet Connection? * ROGER! I love this guy to death, and yes he does call us "Gods or Goddess of the Internet Connection!"

Me: *Explains the issue in great detail and tells him about the A. MER. EEE. CAN. bit* 

Supervisor: *lolsnort* He is not going to be happy with me! I'm a Fillipino with a Aussie accent! 

Me: *dies* Ok transferring him over now!


------------------------

Oh and the customer's problem? He set up his hooked up his home network to a PHONE MODEM. He never had internet with us just phone and cable tv! Now he is trying to contact Corporate because he thinks he was misled when he got the phone service and that we said he could surf the internet with it!  What a dumbass!

Comments

[salavora.livejournal.com]

*ggg*
I am wondering what kind of trouble shooting this Network Engineer did in the first place...
But to think you can surf the internet, when you only have phone service *headdesk*

Just curious: Do many americans have issues with people that don't speak english with their particular accent?

[blondebeaker.livejournal.com]

I get a lot of "OH THANK GOD A LIVE PERSON IS TALKING TO ME!"

But not a lot of the foreign people issues at my job, so when I get one I laugh about it a lot because they want a supervisor....who are in the Philippines.

[superbus.livejournal.com]

That sounds a lot like the standard response to someone that doesn't want to speak to a woman; we take the call, and go "yes... yes... I see... I will have to send this to a specialist, wait one", then get the woman on the line. XD

I love it when people start talking to me and my Canadian-accent-in-America, and then decide they want to be jokers. "Oh, so you're from Canada *3...2...1... EH!? HAHAHAHAHAHA *Yep, right on cue. So predictable.

[simoncion.livejournal.com]

But to think you can surf the internet, when you only have phone service *headdesk*

*stares at my external USR 33.6 modem*
Why yes. I think that you can. :)

[salavora.livejournal.com]

It's allways funny, when people want to get someone higher on the foodchain.
Do they really think that thoes people know that much more?
I mean, the head of IT for example has more to do with budeting and making department-based desicions and most of the time won't even know what IP range is used in the company...

[salavora.livejournal.com]

Well, if you only orderd phone service, I imagine it to be hard to get an internet connection for free as well ;-)

[simoncion.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

You're right. I'll hand in my geek card at the door.

I don't think he was lied to.

[emt-hawk.livejournal.com]

Let's face it, you can surf the internet using a dialup modem.

It's just not very fast.

--H

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

*stares at your external USR 33.6k modem*

My GOD, an ancient relic!

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

Usually the ones who have a bunch of fancy letters after their names are the worst. At least with a complete an utter noob, you can fix the problem without the attitude.

[salavora.livejournal.com]

^^
I nearly wrote "phone line" instead of "phone service" and only saw my error because I had to read through it again
(A meeting stoped me from sending the reply earlier ^^)
So, you would have been right then ;-)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I used to be the worlds biggest arsehole when BOFH'ing on graveyard. Unless shit was breaking or I had a lot of frankenputers to build, I got bored very quickly and would sometimes assign myself the normal tech queue just for something to do.

Every time I got a "OH THANK GOD I'M TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH" whiny shit, I'd reply with variations on "Everyone here speaks English. Perhaps you're looking for another company."you racist fuck (We were solely in Australia at the time, and everyone who worked there was an Australian resident. Fellow Aussies can tell you how wide the gamut of accents runs, especially in Melbourne.)

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

I get such a kick out of the stupid 'oh yay an American' people. Half the time, I pretend I'm British.

Re: I don't think he was lied to.

[snoopyh42.livejournal.com]

But not without a service provider...

[thudthwacker.livejournal.com]

Do many americans have issues with people that don't speak english with their particular accent?

Speaking for a very small sample set (N=1), my problem with accents is entirely my own -- I have trouble understanding some of them. I suspect my brain is miswired, as I have trouble with accents that present no difficulty at all to anyone else in (for example) the meeting. The key is that I don't feel the need to blame my difficulty *on somebody else*, which seems to be the common response. The reasoning (such as it is) seems to go: "I don't understand this person. That makes me feel embarassed and a little stupid. Hey! They're making me feel stupid and embarassed! Assholes!"

Kinda sad, really.

Re: I don't think he was lied to.

[phrogg.livejournal.com]

This guy sounds like the kind of braintrust that's still paying for AOL, though, so anything's possible.

[canray.livejournal.com]

It's from Supes at other companies who do cave in to "Save The Sale" or some such BS, and just encourages the Entitlement Whores.

Personally, if folks with the MBA (Major in Business Arts) deal with "Supervisor Calls", we'd see a lot less of it.

IIRC, the course requirements for an MBA is a good haircut, perfect teeth, and a low golf score. But that just might be me being cynical.

[canray.livejournal.com]

*Look at External USR 33.6k Modem*

My GOD, my old friend, you aged better than me!

[jecook]

*glances wistfully at the commodore auto-modem sitting on the shelf*

young whippersnappers. In my day, we had nuthin but 300 baud and 1200 baud if you had a realy fancy-pants system that cost more then your car. we had none of this DSL and cable internet stuff.

*insert droning about walking uphill in the snow 5 miles both ways for porn*

[canray.livejournal.com]

Do many americans have issues with people that don't speak english with their particular accent?

Only problem I had was a call from the DEEP South, where someone asked if "Ya'll be a Yankee?"

"NO SIR I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!" I said with full indignation in my voice. (I'm Canadian.).

"Whall then, ya'll be hall right then."

Slack-jawed talk aside, the guy was very intelligent and just needed information on propritary items to the company. One of my good calls. Although I did get a weird look from my Supervisor. ;-P

[canray.livejournal.com]

Well, without as much attitude.

The worst is "Mrs. DOCTOR", who expect special treatment because she MARRIED a Doctor.

Sorry, Honey, you didn't get the degree yourself, the only "Special Treatment" you get from me is the Short Bus type.

[canray.livejournal.com]

Apparently my Indian accent is bang on. Or so my friend (From India) said when I threw it on when he transfered a call to me. ;-P

Guy started complaining about outsourcing (We're in Canada, so, yeah, we're also outsourced) and I went back to my regular accent and told him that we're in "The Americas", which is true.

Hell, I could have told him we're in North America and still been accurate.

[blondebeaker.livejournal.com]

I got a "Mrs Army Officer" once when I was a receptionist and I refused to call her that. She got pissed and I told her that when she wears the bars she can be called Army Officer.

And the person I was a receptionist for, has been a Officer's wife, who gets reeeeeeaaaaaallllly pissed when she sees idiots who think they should also wear the rank/title. Unless you are married to royalty.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I used to like saying "Well, today we're in $streetname/$suburbname. It's not a bad place, really. Even got windows, desks, I hear there's a coffee machine somewhere. Pretty cool, actually. So, what's up?"

Totally throws off most people's rant buildup.

[mattcaron.livejournal.com]

Depends. Back in the day, I used to get free dialup from an educationally-funded cooperative.